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Feeling the rain beating down on her back and soaking into her clothing, Rumi pulled her knees closer to her body and hugged them like her life depended on it. The muddy ground was getting slippery beneath her, the small patches of grass ripped from the earth lay scattered around her. The tears streamed down her face as she sobbed loudly, the sound only being drowned out by the thunder.
Her mother had been dead for most of her life, leaving her with unanswered questions about who she really was. Questions Celine wouldn’t or couldn’t answer for her. Celine, who taught her nothing but how to be ashamed of who she really was until she couldn’t hide it anymore. Celine, who she felt never really loved her for who she was.
The scent of the incense was long gone as Rumi cried harder, the ash having become one with the mud. She wanted to know why, she wanted to know who, and she wanted to know how she came to be. Why would her demon hunter mother willingly give birth to a monster like herself?
Clenching and unclenching her fists, Rumi reached down and felt the wet mud under her hands. Digging her fingers into the earth, she screamed up at the sky as she looked at the marker on the top of her mother’s grave. The mud squished between her fingers, running up her wrist.
The section of the cemetery she was buried in hadn’t been taken care of for what looked like years. Headstones were broken, the ground was either bare or overgrown. And claw marks were visible in the trunks of the trees that surrounded the cemetery.
“WHY!” Rumi screamed at the headstone. “WHY!” Feeling more sobs wrack through her body, she dug her fingers deeper into the earth and felt the dirt and mud in her palms. Squeezing tightly, she felt it ball inside her palm mixing as one.
Releasing her grip on the earth, she faced the headstone and watched as the rain ran over the gold lettering.
“How could you do this to me?!” She screamed, as more gut-wrenching sobs escaped her.
She knew there wasn’t going to be any response, she was dead after all. But yelling helped.
“How could you love a demon who would only betray you!” Running her fingernails over her exposed arms, Rumi felt the sting as nail met skin.
She could feel the sting of betrayal throughout her entire body. She once trusted a demon but never again. He turned on her, handing her and her friends over only to have a last second change of heart. Demons were all the same, soul sucking, lying, cheating, and untrustworthy.
“How could you have even loved me knowing what I truly am!” Feeling more tears run down her face as they mixed with the rain, Rumi looked up at the dark grey sky. “WHY!” she screamed as thunder roared loudly above.
All her life, Rumi was told that no one would ever love her if they found out what she truly was and she believed that. She grew up believing she was unworthy of love and a family. She didn’t let anyone get close or get to know the real her, fearing it would hurt too much in the long run. Even after everything about her came out, she still had Zoey and Mira, and she was thankful each day for that.
Zoey had been there for her in the days and weeks after, always letting her know she was loved for who she was. Zoey who held her while she cried and wiped the tears away. Zoey who had helped her deal with what had happened to her. Zoey who loved her no matter what. Without Zoey, Rumi didn’t know what she would have done.
Allowing herself to open up to Zoey changed everything for her. She allowed the love in her heart, she allowed herself to give it back, and she learnt what it felt like to truly be in love with a person who accepts everything about you and understands who you really are. Zoey was the woman she loved, the woman who loved her, and together they loved and cared for one another.
It had taken Mira a little longer to come around but once she was willing, their friendship grew stronger. Mira supported her, and also made fun of her when she looked like a lovesick puppy after Zoey had left the room.
Zoey and Mira taught her what it was like to have people love you no matter what even after not telling them the truth for as long as you had known them.
Feeling the rain get heavier, Rumi held her hands out in front of her and watched as the drops of rain ran across her palms and down her fingers, washing away the mud and dirt as it dripped onto the ground below.
Staring at her mother’s headstone, Rumi just wanted answers, answers no one would ever be able to give her. She felt broken, not knowing who she really was, who she was from. Feeling her breath get caught in her lungs, Rumi had to force herself to breathe as droplets ran over the black and gold lettering, giving her no answer.
Her breathing got heavier and faster as she pulled her legs back to her chest and curled in on herself. All she had to do was breathe between the sobs. The sounds around her blurred into one, and she was unable to tell them apart.
The wind was picking up in intensity and before long it felt like ice daggers were piercing right through her. Unable to move, Rumi tried to hold herself tighter. The fight was leaving her body, the need for answers was slowly going away.
Hearing a crunch of a branch, Rumi quickly lifted her head and looked around. Her vision was blurred but she could see someone walking towards her.
“Rumi, sweetheart, it’s Zoey,” the voice said, getting closer.
Wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, Rumi could just make out the Hello Kitty raincoat followed by Zoey’s emotive brown eyes.
“Zo…Zoey,” Rumi said as Zoey wrapped a large towel around her shoulders.
“I’m here, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere,” she said, gently wiping the tears from Rumi’s face.
“I… I need to get… out of here,” Rumi said, trying to get up but her body wasn’t cooperating.
Feeling Zoey scoop her up into her arms, Rumi buried her head against her chest as she allowed Zoey to get her out of the rain.
Inside the back of the car, the heater was on full blast as towels were already covering the seats.
Rumi lay on the towels as Zoey slipped in past her, took her raincoat off and sat on the last seat. Watching Zoey cover her lap with a towel, Rumi shuffled back a little so she could rest her head in her girlfriend’s lap. Feeling Zoey start to gently wipe the rain and tears from her face, Rumi shivered as the warm air touched her skin.
“Here, let me,” Zoey murmured as she pulled another towel from the passenger seat and laid it over her body. “You’re soaking wet and cold to the touch.”
“Where am I going, Zoey? Home?” Mira asked from the driver’s seat.
“Yes, home. As fast and as safely as you can in this storm, please.”
Closing her eyes, Rumi listened to her friends talk as Zoey gently caressed her face, soothing her. She could feel the feeling returning to her body as she slowly warmed up. The shivering came first, followed by the painful stiffness in her joints. Listening to Zoey softly hum some of their favourite songs, Rumi concentrated on calming herself.
She knew she should have told her friends where she was going but she didn’t know where exactly she was aiming for until she found herself outside of the semi-abandoned cemetery.
Making it home in record time, Rumi opened her eyes and stared up into Zoey’s eyes. Reaching for Zoey’s face, she gently touched her cheek, stroking the soft skin there.
“Come on you two, let’s get inside and defrost Rumi.”
“Do you think you can walk?” Zoey asked, brushing a lilac strand from Rumi’s face.
“Yeah,” Rumi softly replied, slowly sitting up.
Allowing Mira to help her out of the car as Zoey grabbed another dry towel, Rumi offered them both a smile when Zoey wrapped it around her. Feeling Zoey hold her around her waist, Rumi allowed them to lead her inside and to their penthouse.
“Let’s get you into a warm shower,” Zoey said, leading her to the bathroom.
“I don’t think I have it in me to shower,” Rumi replied, looking at the floor.
“I’ll help you, if that’s okay,” Zoey offered.
“That would be nice,” Rumi admitted, grateful for her partner.
Allowing Zoey to help remove her soaking wet clothing, Rumi could now see the mud and dirt on her body. Once the shower water had warmed up, Zoey moved her under the spray and got undressed herself.
Feeling Zoey begin to untie her hair, Rumi closed her eyes as gentle fingers pried the wet strands apart.
“I’m gonna take the shower head down to wash your hair. I’ll hand it to you in between,” Zoey said, quickly pulling it out of the holder on the tiled wall.
Warm water ran through her hair washing the rain and any dirt away. Taking the shower head when passed to her, Rumi let it beat against her chest as Zoey massaged her scalp and washed her hair, only taking it back to rinse and repeat.
When her hair was washed, Zoey moved on to gently scrubbing the mud and dirt from her body – her arms, hands, and under her fingernails.
“I just needed answers no one knows,” Rumi said, barely above a whisper.
“I understand,” Zoey replied, giving her shoulder a supportive squeeze. “If you can, just let us know where you are next time so we can get there a little quicker.”
“I’ll try,” Rumi acknowledged as Zoey moved on to washing her back.
“Are you feeling any better?” Zoey asked after a few minutes.
“A little. I can now feel my fingers and toes.” Turning to face Zoey, Rumi gently rested her forehead against hers. “Thank you for finding me.”
“I’ll do it a hundred times over, Rumi. I love you and I will walk to the ends of the Earth to make sure you’re okay.”
“I love you too.” Feeling Zoey wrap her arms around her, Rumi rested her chin on Zoey’s shoulder and hugged her back.
“Do you want to stay in here any longer?” Zoey asked, gently rubbing her back.
“Not really, it’s getting a little cold.”
“Okay, let’s get you dried and dressed and in front of the heater.”
Allowing Zoey to turn the water off and lead her out of the shower, Rumi clutched the warm fluffy towel in her hands as Zoey wrapped it around her. Feeling Zoey begin to gently towel some of the water from her hair before wrapping it in a hair towel, she closed her eyes and let herself be taken care of.
Smiling when Zoey’s lips pressed against her cheek, she reached out and pulled her close. Breathing in everything Zoey, Rumi felt herself relax into her girlfriend. Having Zoey always on her side and there for her was a gift greater than she ever imagined. Knowing what it felt like to be truly loved for who and what she is by both Zoey and Mira helped her become more confident in who she is as a person.
Shivering as the warmth in the room began to disappear, Rumi opened her eyes and gently cupped Zoey’s face for a moment before trying to pull the towel closer around her body.
“Let’s go get you dressed,” Zoey murmured as she led Rumi into her bedroom. “I’ll be a second,” Zoey added, kissing her cheek before quickly disappearing.
Beginning to slowly dry away the last of the water from her body, Rumi could still feel the cold leached deep inside her joints. Sitting down on her bed as her hips hurt, Zoey returned with a handful of clean clothing.
“Clean, warm clothing. Mira put them in the clothes dryer for us,” Zoey said, putting them next to Rumi. “How’re you feeling?”
“I honestly don’t feel great. I’m sad, I’m angry, I want answers, my joints hurt, and I’m cold.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Zoey said, kneeling in front of Rumi and drying her legs and feet before sliding toasty warm socks onto them.
“Oh, that’s nice,” Rumi commented, wiggling her toes in her socks. “There’s nothing anyone can really do. Celine doesn’t know the answers, or she does and straight up won’t tell me. It’s just hard not knowing who you are and how you came to be.”
“It will always be something in the back of your mind. One day Celine might tell you what she knows but if we’re not patient with her she won’t tell us anything.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Rumi agreed, lifting her feet off the ground as Zoey slid her underwear and pyjama pants on.
“Up,” Zoey said, pulling Rumi to her feet so she could pull them up the rest of the way. “Deodorant?” Zoey asked, handing it to her.
Putting it on, Rumi handed it back and allowed Zoey to pull her shirt over her head. It was just as warm as her socks.
“I think you should get dressed before the clothing gets cold,” Rumi softly said, reaching for Zoey’s hand and softly squeezing.
“Yeah, that might help,” Zoey smiled, quickly getting dressed. “Time to get you in front of the heater. I can’t have the woman I love freeze.”
Feeling her face blush, Rumi opened her arms and pulled Zoey in for a hug. “I love you, Zoey.”
“I love you too, Rumi.”
Holding onto Zoey for a few more seconds, Rumi let her go. Feeling Zoey take hold of her hand, she led her out to the living room and got her to sit on the couch closest to the heater.
“You good, Rumi?” Mira asked from the kitchen.
“I’m feeling a little better than before,” Rumi replied, accepting a cup of hot chocolate from Mira. “Thank you.” Taking a sip, Rumi felt the liquid warm her insides.
Looking out of the full-sized windows, the rain was still coming down heavily. Thunder roared, shaking the glass as the lightning cracked in the distance.
“I’m going to dry your hair for you,” Zoey said, plugging the hair dryer in and removing the towel from around her head.
Sipping her drink as Zoey dried her hair, Rumi watched the rain as the questions of who she really was swirled around in her thoughts once more. One day she hoped she would find out, but for now, waiting was the only thing she could do.
Hearing the hair dryer turn off, Rumi closed her eyes as Zoey carefully brushed her hair and braided it for her. Feeling a kiss pressed to her temple, she smiled and leaned into Zoey. Pulling Zoey down next to her, Rumi leaned against her chest and relaxed into her as arms wrapped around her.
“Are you okay, babe?” Zoey asked, softly caressing her face.
“Yeah,” Rumi replied, opening her eyes long enough to see Mira smile and shake her head.
“I love you guys, thank you,” Rumi said, looking between Zoey and Mira.
“We love you too, Rumi.”
“That we do.”
Closing her eyes and cuddling back into Zoey as the rain poured down outside, Rumi felt Zoey gently trace hearts and swirls onto her back as she held her in her arms. Maybe Rumi wouldn’t find the answers she desperately wanted to know, but with Zoey and Mira on her side, it made it just that little bit easier to deal with.