Work Text:
BLEND
In their childhood, things could have been different; their parents could have treated them equally, blending their love for both Alara and Solana into one.
STAIN
The truth is buried shallow, only a few feet deep in the soil, yet still tangled around the roots of Alara's soul; they say it without saying it, they only pretend that it is buried, a sloppy cover-up job: Alara is a stain on the Kitan family name.
ISLAND
Alara, on their island, deserted while surrounded.
APPLE
In the Earth fables Alara reads for Interplanetary History, the princesses eat poisoned apples and fall fast asleep, the only savior being their one true love; Alara would take the apple bite, the eternal sleep, instead of whatever hell she lives in now.
PAPER
"For the fourth time this week, Solana, I don't need help with this paper," Alara lies, pushing her sister away to suffocate the yearning.
RELAX
She wonders, sometimes, if security chiefs on /other/ Union ships ever get to relax.
LEAVES
The population of Xelayah has never been kind to Alara, but at home she finds refuge in nature; the leaves and the wildlife are incapable of judgement.
PROOF
As Alara grows older and her grades grow to falter, it all becomes clear, the proof embedded in her quarterly progress reports: she is nothing beyond a failure.
UGLY
She has a human roommate at Union Point; initially she is terrified, but her interest in humans grows to a spark over conversations about the cute-ugliness of her roommate's emotional support dog.
BOOK
She doesn't read books very often; she can't get past the ache of the dedications page, reading the sense of home in the author's words and craving it for herself, too jealous.
BROOD
All teenagers brood, her psychiatrist says, her sadness is nothing to worry about.
MESH
She watches Solana flutter and orbit around Terlus before the wedding, and she watches how Terlus falls into the opposite trajectory when she's around; they clearly don't mesh, why does Solana love him and not--
SOFT
Solana gives her some old clothing as a young Alara grows out of hers; Alara doesn't wash them, doesn't wear them, only runs her fingers over the soft fabric and inhales Solana's floral scent.
SHELF
As Alara ages, it becomes clear that she is marked eternally as a failure; at school she is shelved, picked last, singled out, never able to quite catch up.
ALONE
The day she leaves for Union Point, she pilots her own shuttle to the station, wrangles her own bags onto the transport ship, and leaves without saying goodbye.
FALL
Alara refuses to accept her feelings until she leaves the Orville for home; by then it is too late, the wedding is too soon, Alara had been gone too long, it's all just too much, and she doesn't have anywhere to run to this time.
KNOT
"It's a friendship bracelet, they make them on Earth," Alara says, her ten year old body so small in contrast to sixteen year old Solana's, and all Solana does is frown, sigh, and walk away.
CROWD
"I'm sorry I judged your friends so harshly," Solana says, pulling her aside as the group migrates to the simulator for the wedding after-party.
DENIAL
Alara will never be the kind of being that Solana can love - even as a sister, even as a friend - so Alara doesn't love her; she's getting too old to crumble for her family's maltreatment, even if it's Solana, even if it's complicated.
TRAIN
"Will you teach me to fight?" Solana asks, because she believes in Alara now, because things are different, because she finally sees the truth of Alara and her valiance.
FUR
She watches Solana run her fingers through the fur of benevolent Xelayan wildlife from her mobility chair, and imagines them together, riding on the animal's back, sisters as the suns set.
CHROME
She looks up at the chrome Kaylon vessels spread across their skies, the metallic shine lighting up like daytime stars, and decides - hopes - that this means there will be no consequences when Alara tells her the truth; it will all be over shortly afterward.
HEART
She watches her pulse on Claire's medical screen, takes in the steady zig-zags and the harmonious machine beeps, and realizes that heart and strength are just as worthy of appreciation as Solana's mind and intelligence.
INTENTION
The worst part of it all is that they don't even realize they're hurting her.
PUSH
Solana takes Alara to investigate on the island, tries to initiate conversations, tries to keep her safe; Alara had no choice but to push her away back then, but maybe things can be different now.
LOOK
"Look," Alara says, turning away from her sister, shucking away the husk of Solana and watching her empty support fall to the ground, "I'm going to Union Point whether you like it or not."
WEIGHT
Returning home after leaving The Orville does not ease the burden Alara had before she left, when she was forced to hold up her own skies, to balance the celestial spheres on her back all on her own; it simply rearranges the burden, and now every cloud in her sky carries Solana's shape.
SPIDER
After she realizes the giant arachnid is fake and the evil Isaac is a simulation and she's not actually going to be cut open by a possessed Claire, she thinks, for one brief moment, about simulating Xelayah, about going home; the thought passes swiftly, self-destructing.
ROBE
Solana has to help her bathe for a while until she gets her strength back, until she can stand again; every time she dries Alara off, wraps Alara in her own bathrobe, and helps Alara walk back to her room, Alara finds herself speechles.
UMBRELLA
There's a raindrop on Sargus IV, and then another, and then another; it doesn't rain too often on Xelayah, but Alara doesn't even have time to enjoy the cool droplets now, they have to go.
SURFACE
She falls down when she is exposed to the gravity of Xelayah's surface, and no one she trusts will be around to pick her up the next time she crashes.
IDEA
The first time her ideas are ever taken seriously and applauded, she is acting captain of a Union vessel; she gets a medal for it, later, but no one calls to congratulate, no one calls to ask her about Calivon space or how she did it or how she managed to let go of her fear, and she's beginning to understand that her family will never recognize her worth even when it shines the brightest.
DIAMOND
The first time she sees the stars from above Xelayah, they glimmer like diamonds, their beauty impossibly radiant, and Alara knows she's made the right choice.
BLIND
"Surprise," Solana says, covering her eyes from behind; when Alara can see again, her vision adjusts to their family display case, her Sapphire Star placed right in the middle.
FLOW
As they kiss, an understanding grows inside Solana, flowing from her heavy gasps into Alara's mouth and right down into Alara's heart; how could she have been so cruel?
MOVEMENT
The shuttle takes off, and she hopes she never sees Xelayah again.
MORE
She's been starved of their love for twenty-three years, and now she is insatiable.
HONEY
She brushes Solana's honey-blonde hair behind her ears, and this time Solana does not pull away.
WEATHER
"You know, small talk, when all you do with someone is talk about the weather," Ed says, and Alara thinks back to every conversation with Solana she's had since she was posted here, every word so small, every word pathetic.
BLUE
She's never wanted to be in command before, never thought of herself as worthy or capable; here, as she successfully navigates her way out of an impossible mission, her friends safe and sound, Alara briefly allows herself to imagine a blue uniform, a captain's chair, a hand firmly in the stars.
DOUBLE
Solana and Alara, twin binary stars, knocked out of orbit, realigned.
BRAID
Solana wants Alara to do her hair for the wedding, but Alara cannot move with precision quite yet, her body as weak as her heart.
THREAD
The stitches on Solana's dress rip two hours before she's supposed to get married, but she goes through with the wedding anyway; why wouldn't she?
ANGLES
She tries to look at it from every angle - Solana is everything her parents wanted her to be, everything she could never be, everything she wanted to be, it's not like that, it's envy and resentment and reluctant acceptance, she tries to force it to be envy and resentment and reluctant acceptance - but nothing adds up the way her desire does.
DAYDREAM
Alara tries to stop herself from imagining a better life, but what else is there to do?
NIGHTMARE
She should've died in that fire.
HONOR
They fix the Sapphire Star onto her uniform, and Alara feels an infection of confidence.
PALM
On Sargus V, someone tells Alara they can read her future by studying the creases of her hand, but that's bullshit; regardless, she would be too terrified to give them her palm.
SCREEN
They screen you for illnesses when you board any Union vessel for the first time, but nothing can detect the invisible sickness of Alara's desire, her worst affliction, and nothing can extract it.
WARMTH
She falls asleep in Solana's arms, their skin bare and warm, melting two souls hot into one.