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Conrad had been a bully.
She hadn’t seen it when they were engaged. Back then, he was charming and sweet, always going out of his way to help people. That was why she fell for him.
He kept his best side on display right up until the wedding. After she said “I do,” everything changed.
Nothing she did was good enough. Everything was wrong. He told her so again and again, sometimes shouting until his face turned red. There were moments she wished he would just hit her at least then she could point to a bruise and say, Look at what this monster did.
Juno should have left. She would have if she hadn’t fallen pregnant.
She had foolishly believed all children needed a father.
Timothy was the sweetest boy, and all he’d ever wanted was for Conrad to love him. He would have settled for being liked. Even tolerated. In the end he would have settled for basic human respect.
But Conrad didn’t want a son. He wanted a clone, another bully, something ugly and cruel.
Timothy wasn’t cruel. He wasn’t ugly inside.
She hadn’t protected him from Conrad. Juno had failed once. She would not fail again.
Francesca had a mean streak.
“When your brother is Conrad, you either grow hard or crumble under his boot,” she’d told Juno once, back when the boys were small.
Unlike Conrad, Francesca’s charm wasn’t a mask. She had this magnetic pull, the kind that made people crave her approval.
Juno was no different. She wanted Francesca to like her, no, to approve of her.
In the early days, she didn’t. Juno thinks it was the time Francesca watched Conrad tear into her, then found her sobbing in the kitchen, that changed things. After that, Francesca became her only friend. Conrad wouldn’t let her have others. Not real friends. Juno hadn’t needed them. Francesca was enough.
Sometimes she wondered if Conrad ever guessed the truth, that she had loved Francesca as more than a friend. And there had been a time when Francesca allowed herself to love Juno back.
“Conrad is an arsehole, but he’s my brother. This would destroy him,” Francesca had said the one time Juno gathered the courage to ask her to run away. “And what about our boys? You think they’d forgive us for tearing their lives apart? They wouldn’t.”
Not long after, they went back to being friends only.
How cruel the universe was, to take Francesca from her on the very night Juno finally escaped Conrad.
She hadn’t wanted to kill her. But she’d had to. If Francesca woke even without placing Timothy at the scene, she could tear apart the whole burglary story. Soon afterwards the truth would come out.
There was no pleasure in it. No peace.
All Juno could think about was protecting her boy and the taste of blackcurrant ice lollies they’d shared on the beach when the boys were young.
Barrett had been a nice boy growing up just as Timothy was.
The difference between her son and her nephew was simple. One was trapped in the past, while the other clawed and clung desperately to the future.
Nothing and no one would get in the way of that future.
She hadn’t wanted to kill him. If there had been another way to ensure Barrett would never speak of what he knew, she would have taken it.
But Juno knew that sooner or later, he would talk. A man who sleeps with his best friend’s wife cannot be trusted. Yes, she knew about that. His careless treatment of Zennia, who had tried so hard to be a good wife, reminded her far too much of Conrad.
If he lived, Barrett would become a bitter echo of his uncle. She saw that now. Timothy would not become like his father. So wasn’t it right to do what needed to be done? Better to protect the better man.
Killing is easier the second time. She hates every second of it, but it comes easier than the first.
All of this is for Timothy. He will be free of this.
If their roles had been reversed, Francesca would have done the same. She would have saved her boy over Timothy.
It doesn't bring her any comfort.
Isaac loves her. Juno believes that. But it isn’t the kind of love that’s good. Not the kind that helps a person grow. He fell for the woman Conrad had broken, and that’s who he wanted.
She needed someone. That’s the worst part. Without Conrad telling her who to be, she had no idea who she was. She let Isaac step into that role.
Isaac loved his daughter. That was one of the few good things Juno could say about her husband. He was a good father to Stella. He never put Timothy down.
She believed what happened to Francesca had been an accident. For all his faults, Isaac wasn’t capable of violence against women.
But this was a way out of the marriage. One that wouldn’t raise suspicion. The funny thing was, the only person no one suspected… was her.
They were almost in the clear. But she could tell Timothy was going to tell Stella what he’d done. She couldn’t risk it, once Stella’s infatuation with her faded, the girl might talk.
Stella had to be dealt with. It would destroy Isaac, but Juno could live with that. It would hurt Timothy, but he’d get over it. He’d find someone else, someone Juno could shape completely, so he’d keep the worst thing he’d ever done to himself or lose them.
Prison has rules. She’s good at following them. Juno had done it often enough with Conrad. No one understood, she was freer here than she had ever been outside.
Juno would die in this place. She’d made peace with that. Timothy would not die in prison. After everything Conrad had put him through, he’d been given a lesser charge. The judge had been sympathetic. Gave him the minimum sentence he could.
In a few years, he’d be out. He could start over. Free of all of it. Timothy didn’t answer her letters. Maybe he never would. She only hoped he understood that everything she’d done had been for him.
She'd do it all over again.