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Homura couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed a restful night's sleep. She supposed it wasn't surprising, given all that she had experienced and all that she had done. She couldn't even remember how many times she had repeated this month. The more her hands became stained in blood, the more her frozen clock mocked her.
The nightmares always began the same way. Homura sits in her stark living room, the shadow of the unseen pendulum swinging back and forth. Outside, the shrieking of Walpurgisnacht is no more than a distant roar. Alone, Homura stands and her red-framed glasses fall, cracking as they hit the hard floor. She steps forward and countless doors appear before her. Some of the doors grow distorted, as if plucked from a witch's labyrinth. Maybe one of these doors will open to the future she longs for.
She opens the first door, a simple wooden door. A smiling Madoka reaches for Homura's hand, but immediately she is impaled by a rusted sword. The armored mermaid witch screams, and the door slams shut and crumbles to dust. As always, Homura can do nothing but watch.
How many times had Madoka been killed by Sayaka's witch form? Homura had stopped counting a long time ago.
She opens another door, one that resembles their classroom door. Again Madoka is there to greet her, but just as quickly she is torn apart by the minions of the television witch. Homura remembers this all too well. After Mami's death, Madoka had tried to save her friend Hitomi from a witch's curse, and both Homura and Sayaka had been too late to rescue her. As Homura's magic activated, Sayaka had screamed that it was all her fault.
Another door, another brutal death. Yet Homura can't look away. She knows the truth - if only she was a little stronger, a little faster, Madoka wouldn't have to suffer. The scent of Madoka's blood fills her nose, and Madoka's body lays broken and mangled at her feet. She should've felt something, she knows, but she has also done far worse.
She opens yet another door, one broken and worn down by the elements, and the remnants of Walpurgisnacht's destruction are clear. Homura stands before a dying Madoka, gun in her hand, and Madoka's beautiful Soul Gem is engulfed by darkness. She begs and begs for Homura to end it all, but Homura remains frozen, her hands trembling around the heavy gun. Madoka screams and her Soul Gem cracks, and unfathomable darkness breaks free. Madoka's body twists and distorts, her cries echoing throughout the destruction, and the cursed darkness that once was her hope begins to consume the world.
Madoka had willingly laid down her life to save Mitakihara, but Homura's cowardice had condemned her to destroy the world.
Yet Homura holds out her hands for the encroaching tendrils of the witch that had once been Madoka. Even if it was just a false utopia, if she could only find some kind of salvation with her beloved Madoka…
"Homura-chan?"
She opened her eyes, and pink eyes stared back at her. A dream? No, this was real, Homura knew as she sat up and recognized her too-plain and too-vast bedroom. Madoka was beside her, concern clear on her face. Homura bit her lip, lowering her gaze from Madoka's. Once, it had been a dream come true to share a bed with Madoka, to feel Madoka's warmth beside her as she slept. Now, the nightmares attacked her as relentlessly as witches.
Carefully Madoka touched Homura's cheek, and no silver ring encircled her fingers. "Homura-chan," she said again, "what's wrong?"
Homura sighed. What was she so frightened of? Neither Madoka nor Sayaka had become magical girls in this timeline, and Homura had managed to form an alliance with both Mami and Kyouko to defeat Walpurgisnacht. She had even confessed her feelings to Madoka, something she had never done before. Everything was going well, and still dread filled her like the darkness of a corrupt Soul Gem. "A nightmare, I think," she said finally.
Madoka let her hand fall to her side. "Is it Walpurgisnacht?" She still had difficulty pronouncing that foreign name.
Wordlessly Homura stood and went to the large window on the other side of her bedroom. There wasn't much else - only her bed and a dresser and the twisted chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. She stared out the window, and even against the night sky she could make out the beginning of Walpurgisnacht's arrival.
Homura had lost count of how many times she had witnessed that scene.
Madoka came beside Homura, her white nightgown a welcomed sight in this darkness, and she too stared out the window at the dark clouds in the distance. "It's supposed to be a really evil witch, right?" she asked, laying her hand on the glass. "That's what Kyubey told me."
Again Homura chewed her lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. How many times had she stood alone against Walpurgisnacht? How many times had she watched Sayaka and Mami and Kyouko die? How many times had she failed to save Madoka? But she couldn't give up, not until she found that razor-thin path to salvation. "I won't fail again," she muttered.
Gently Madoka touched Homura's hand as a weak smile came upon her lips. "I could become a magical girl too. Kyubey said I would be really powerful, so maybe—"
"No!" Homura screamed, seizing Madoka's shoulders. The images of nightmares flashed before her eyes - Madoka, her body bloody and broken, torn apart limb from limb, writhing in pain as her Soul Gem burst into a witch more terrible than Walpurgisnacht, begging for death as Homura readied her gun, the bullet shattering that beautiful pink Soul Gem into nothingness. The scent of blood surrounded Homura as screams filled her ears over and over. "You can't become a magical girl! You can't, no matter what!"
Familiar fear filled Madoka's bright eyes. "H-Homura-chan?"
Tears stung at the corners of Homura's eyes, and she buried her face in Madoka's shoulder and threw her arms around Madoka's back. "I've done so many horrible things…" she said between sobs. "But this time, I might… I might finally be able to save you…"
"You already have saved me, more than once," Madoka whispered as she laid her hand on Homura's hair.
Homura gripped Madoka's shoulders once more and met her gaze. "When all this is over, I'll tell you everything. Just please…" She hesitated, her heart pounding painfully against her ribs. "Just please don't hate me…"
Madoka smiled, that sweet, adoring smile Homura loved so much. "I could never hate you, Homura-chan," she said, and she cupped Homura's face and brought their lips together for a kiss.
Maybe this was only a dream, Homura thought, but even this one night of peace with Madoka was more than she had ever dared to hope for.