Chapter Text
"3 dead and dozens injured in 7 explosions across the city of Abergallu Saturday evening between 7pm and 8pm. City officials report the explosions originated in gas pipelines beneath the city streets. A cause has not been determined at this time as investigations continue."
Siân reads every news site she can think of for any information on what almost killed her. The biggest of the 7 explosions was on her street. 2 of the people who died were there.
She already felt miraculous to be alive, but still being relatively early in her transition, she's still learning how to actually LIVE.
She's 33, started taking estrogen at 30. Her life before was barely existing. Gender dysphoria induced depression and dissociation can really fuck up your ability to connect with people and experience the world.
Sure she kinda had friends, other nerds who would play complicated tabletop games, or watch sci-fi and fantasy as escapism. But she never really felt part of the group.
She spent 3 years away at uni to get a computing degree, and spent another 5 years living with various people she called friends.
But when she was made redundant she lost what little passion she had for her career, moved back home, and drifted apart from her friends.
After her mother died, she had no one in her life.
Although she is now happier thanks to transition, she's still just drifting through life.
Becoming a mortality empath is not the only change she's gone through in this incident.
She's now determined to experience life like she never has before.
She opens up Division and eagerly catches up in all the servers she's been lurking in. She starts posting, chatting with people about games she enjoyed as a kid and would love to play again. She finds a server for a local queer group who do meetups in the city and introduces herself.
She opens TealSea where she follows 100s of other queer people but has never interacted. She posts a selfie, smiling in the hospital bed. She replies to her favourite shitposters. She makes terrible memes that only get a few likes, but she's ecstatic to get those few.
Some people comment on her selfie with well-wishes. One stands out:
The Gay Tranarchist 🏳️🌈
@tranarchist.gay
Get well soon. You're gorgeous btw I hope you know that 😘
She's never been complimented like that before.
Siân 🏴 🏳️🌈
@siansolo.tsea.social
rtghzdfggnzergrthsdfs
She spends all evening building the community she's always lacked. She connects to her people. She's happier than she has ever been.
It's Siân's third day in hospital. Becky arrives just after lunch as the doctor is doing her rounds.
"Becky!" says Siân, not hiding her glee this time.
"Hi Siân" replies Becky happily.
The doctor encourages her to get on her feet today using a crutch.
She does so, and takes a few steps around the room.
"Well done girl, you'll be out of here in no time" says Becky.
Siân smiles at Becky's encouragement, but it soon fades when she remembers she no longer has a home to return to.
After the doctor has left and Siân and Becky are alone, Siân asks "when I do get out of here, where do I go? My flat is gone".
"I wanted to talk to you about that." says Becky, "If you wish, you could come and train as a mortality empath".
"The Families run an academy. I can get you into student housing on campus once you're well enough. Until then you're welcome to stay with me. Pets aren't allowed on campus, so I'll be happy to keep looking after Catsune myself".
"I...yes, thank you" says Siân.
"You should know, the other cadets will be younger. Typically powers manifest in late teens as that's when they tend to start wearing jewellery, and become highly emotional." says Becky "I'm curious why you didn't manifest 'til now".
"I only got this necklace 2½ years ago." says Siân.
"Plus, if only women can manifest, I started my transition not long before that. What if it's something to do with hormones?"
"I don't know, I've never heard of a trans woman being an Angel before." says Becky.
"Because The Families have kept the origin of powers so secret, there's not exactly been a lot of scientific study of it."
"Well, that makes me feel special" says Siân.
"You are special" says Becky.
Siân blushes.
"Before you're discharged I'll go back to your flat and salvage what I can, take it to my place." says Becky, "But for now, while I was there yesterday getting your phone, I noticed your shelves of games. I'm something of a nerd myself, so I brought this from home."
Becky pulls a small game out of her handbag.
"Sturo? I love that game" exclaims Siân.
It's a simple tile laying path finding game which can be played one-handed.
"Great, I think I should probably shuffle" says Becky happily.
Siân giggles.
They play many rounds all afternoon. Each winning games, not caring who won the most.
Siân is happy.
As the afternoon fades to evening, Becky gets ready to leave, "I'll bring some more games tomorrow".
"Wait, before you go, could you take me to see Catsune again please? I miss her and I'm worried about her all alone down there" says Siân.
"Sure" replies Becky, pulling the wheelchair near the bed.
As they pass through the emergency ward once again, Becky points out a door to the side Siân hadn't noticed before, with a sign saying "Angels".
"That's where we primarily operate from" says Becky, "When we're on call we have to be close to each other so we can port at a moment's notice".
"I guess you're all pretty close then?" asks Siân.
"Yeah, we're bonded for life. Going through extreme situations, and prolonged psychic connection, we know each other better than anyone else possibly can" says Becky.
Siân silently longs for that kind of connection.
They arrive at Catsune's crate. Catsune sees Siân and begins mewling and pawing at the bars. Siân does her best to calm her down.
"Can't we take her out, just for a minute?" asks Siân.
"No sorry they can't risk a loose pet running around." replies Becky, "Is it ok if I try?"
"Uh, sure" says Siân.
Becky puts her fingers up to the bars to let Catsune sniff them. After a quizzical look, she starts purring a little. Becky puts 2 fingers through the bars to pet Catsune behind her ear.
"Wow. I think she's gonna love living with you" says Siân.
She looks at Becky contemplatively.
"Why are you being so kind to me?" asks Siân.
Becky, still petting Catsune, turns to look Siân in the eyes, "Because I remember what it was like after hatching. Feeling other's mortality is a huge weight to bear. Nobody should go through this alone".
Siân gently takes hold of Becky's free hand, "... thank you".
[Becky leaning down and kissing Siân passionately]
"And one of the first things I'll teach you is how to control pushing thoughts, so you don't inadvertently push anything you don't want other Angels to see" says Becky.
Siân's eyes widen as she realises Becky saw that. She's still holding Becky's hand.
"Oh god, sorry" she says as she pulls her hand away.
*Oh fuck she thinks I'm a freak. No way she's going to help me now. I'm fucked*
Becky laughs "Don't worry about it".
*Wait, she didn't pull her hand away. Did...did she enjoy that?*
After an awkward silence, they start heading back. As they pass through the emergency ward, that nebulous discomfort sensation returns.
"Stop" says Siân, "I'm feeling something here".
"Really? I'm not picking up anything nearby." says Becky, "Can you describe what you're feeling?"
"I don't know. It doesn't feel like mortality. At least, not like the other day. This is something else. I felt it yesterday here too. It's familiar. It's uncomfortable. It's anxiety. It's a feeling of something being wrong, but I can't place what. It feels like nothingness. A void." says Siân.
"Can you tell me where it's coming from?" asks Becky, "don't worry if you can't, it's still early days for you"
Siân focuses. She points to the nearby reception desk. To a young man sitting behind it.
"Gary?" asks Becky, "I mean, he's a quiet guy, keeps to himself, but he's fine".
Siân looks at him. She understands immediately what it is. She sees it in his eyes.
*Gender dysphoria! I'm sensing his gender dysphoria*
"Get me back to my room! Please?" pleads Siân.
Becky does so.
Siân sits in the chair next to the bed, with her head in her right hand.
"Can you tell me what just happened Siân?" asks Becky.
Siân, through rapid breaths, says "I... I felt hi...I felt Gary's gender dysphoria!".
"What? What are you saying?" asks Becky.
"Gary is suffering with gender dysphoria. Might not even realise it. But trust me, I know what that feels like." says Siân.
"This is amazing. A mortality empath who can sense something else? You really are special Siân" says Becky excitedly, "you're a...a dysphoria empath!"
"This is too much!" cries Siân, "Please"
"It's okay Siân. I can help. You're safe in here for now. Tomorrow I'll see if I can get you discharged. My place is shielded so your senses won't reach past the outside walls." says Becky in a reassuring tone, "You'll be okay".
Through sobs Siân says "I don't deserve your kindness. I'm nobody".
"Hey!" says Becky, "You're not nobody, you're my new friend Siân, and no one treats my friends that way, even themselves".
"I... I'm your friend?" asks Siân meekly.
"Yes. Now, stop being mean to my friend" says Becky.
"Okay" says Siân, half chuckling while still sobbing.
Becky hands her some tissues to wipe away her tears.
"That's better. Now, I'm on call tonight so I won't be back 'til tomorrow afternoon, but I'll be speaking to the doctor to see how soon I can get you out of here. I'll take care of you".
Siân smiles.
There's a knock at the door. Becky opens it and a woman enters, kissing Becky softly on the lips.
"Siân, you remember Nikki? She eased your pain the other day" says Becky.
"Hi, nice to see you again" says Nikki cheerfully.
Siân, after years of practice, easily puts up a mask, "Yes, hi, thank you".
"We're going out for a quick dinner before our shift" says Becky, "If I can't spring you from here tomorrow, I'll try to convince Nikki to join us for some games, she's not as much of a nerd as me ".
Nikki does an exaggerated gasp, "and how do you plan to convince me?".
"I can think of a few ways" says Becky as she pulls Nikki in for a more passionate kiss.
Siân feels awkward.
"Let's leave Siân to rest now sweetie. We'll see you tomorrow" says Becky as they leave, both giggling.
Siân is alone once more.
