Chapter Text
The air at Puji Shrine was very sweet and pure, and the surroundings were all you could wish for in a country village. Xie Lian reminded herself very often that she had nothing to complain about, and that it was truthfully preferable to being in a palace in the Upper Court, having to deal with difficult personalities and competing over who had the most spiritual power or worshippers. It was also better than most of the places she'd spent the last eight hundred centuries. She had her own place to live, a community who accepted her as the keeper of the shrine, offerings to eat, a normal level of luck … and Feng Xin and Mu Qing even came to visit her from time to time. Those relationships weren't what they once were, but they were on the mend, and she was very happy about that.
She'd gone years and years without Hua Cheng around, she reminded herself daily. She hadn't even known who Hua Cheng was when they ran into each other at various points in their existences until so recently. Hua Cheng needed to put herself back together after being dispersed on her account! And think of how long Hua Cheng had waited for her. She should be patient and wait as long as it took to see her again.
But the dark, hollow feeling that lurked inside of her persisted; even when she could keep it at bay during the day by focusing on work or cheerful conversation with the Puji villagers, it still returned and overcame her at night. Hua Cheng had slept with her on that bed in the shrine, and now there was no-one next to her. Maybe there never would be anyone there — maybe Hua Cheng had been too hurt to return again — maybe Hua Cheng had realized that it was silly to follow Xie Lian of all people. It was a kind of despair she'd rarely felt even when she was wandering and collecting scraps, back when she'd had nothing to lose, and the only thing she could do when it arrived was to grasp Hua Cheng's ring tightly and try to remind herself that the one she loved was out there, waiting to return.
And then Hua Cheng did return.
It was a warm day, a very nice day to clean up the shrine but a little sweaty, and Xie Lian had tied up her sleeves as she swept in order to give her arms a chance to breathe. Once she'd pushed the dust out the door, she stood there a moment with her eyes closed, feeling the sun on her face and loosening the neckline of her robe slightly. It was a good day to be alive, she remembered, and smiled to herself.
“Jiejie makes a very pretty housewife.”
Her eyes popped open, and there was Hua Cheng standing right in front of her in her youthful form, looking as elegant and charming as ever from her shining black hair to the tips of her equally shining boots. The weight of weeks of waiting dissipated from Xie Lian’s shoulders in an instant.
“San Niang!”
Without even really thinking about it, Xie Lian's hands went to set her robe to rights, but Hua Cheng caught her wrists and held them before she got there. “You look perfect as you are.”
“Oh, no.” Xie Lian could feel her cheeks going pink. “I'm all sweaty and dusty. I'm pretty sure there's a cobweb caught in my hair, too.”
“Perfect,” Hua Cheng repeated, and when she let go, Xie Lian didn't return to fidgeting with her neckline. “I've missed seeing you so much, jiejie.”
“I've missed you too.” Xie Lian meant to leave it at that, but then she gave into a sudden mad impulse and wrapped her arms around Hua Cheng in the tightest hug she could manage. She wouldn't start crying, she wouldn't let herself, but she did laugh a little wetly into Hua Cheng's shoulder. There was a strange ripple in the flesh under the clothing she was dampening, and she felt Hua Cheng’s body shift back into her real form just as her arms wrapped around Xie Lian.
“This lowly one is eternally sorry for hurting her highness,” said Hua Cheng very softly into Xie Lian’s hair. “This one will do anything — anything — to atone for her mistakes, but she fears that she can never truly apologize enough.”
“No, no.” Xie Lian sniffed back any remaining mistiness. “I won’t have you talking like that. It wasn’t your fault!” Hua Cheng was even taller in her real form, which meant that Xie Lian's cheek was pressed to her chest rather than her shoulder. That felt a little impolite, but she couldn't bring herself to move away.
There was nothing unsafe about Puji these days. The pompous cultivators came around every once in a while, but they were nothing more than a minor nuisance. If anything, Xie Lian had perhaps been a little too safe and un-inconvenienced for weeks without even her bad luck causing her home to fall down or burn up — she had nothing at all to feel resentful about or scared of. And she was very much able to defend herself against any enemy that came at her, even though she was technically a goddess of love and beauty. Despite all of that, she suddenly felt protected — safe — relieved.
“I was lonely without you, though,” she allowed herself to admit with her face still pressed into the soft red silk robe. “And I'm so glad to see you again, San Niang.” I'm so glad you still exist, she meant, but it felt like the wrong time and place to say it: she needed moonlight and stars and maybe rippling water.
“I should have been back sooner.” Hua Cheng ran a hand over her hair, from the crown of Xie Lian's head to the center of her back, in a stroke that Xie Lian wouldn't have minded being continued.
“Ah, no, no! You couldn't help how long it took you to re-form.”
Hua Cheng paused and sighed, and as much as she didn't want to move at all, Xie Lian made herself push back slightly so she could look up into her face.
“Don't blame yourself, San Niang.”
“This wretched one must confess that she came back to her full shape and powers more than a week ago.” The words seemed to be dragged out of Hua Cheng’s throat. “Your vile worshipper has been dealing with matters in Ghost City for the last nine days.”
That could have upset Xie Lian, could have made her feel that she’d been neglected, but in fact she felt a rush of fondness. “Chengzhu is such a good ruler to her people! I'm sorry for making you feel guilty about it, darling.” The endearment slipped out without her intending it, probably because she'd spent so many hours imagining what she might say to Hua Cheng when they saw each other again, and after the slightest of pauses she pretended not to notice what she'd said. Hua Cheng, on the other hand, couldn't seem to conceal how much that threw her off balance, her eyes going wide and her mouth all but dropping open, and Xie Lian waited patiently for a response. Was she deliberately looking up at Hua Cheng through her eyelashes with a hint of seductiveness? Maybe a little.
When Hua Cheng did speak again, she seemed to be shocked out of speaking so very humbly. “It — I — that is — technically, your highness, I wasn't doing very much for my people.”
“Oh?”
“I was making arrangements at Paradise Manor for a few surprises for you.” She cupped one side of Xie Lian's face in her hand, her skin unearthly cool, and Xie Lian luxuriated in the feeling. “But now this one is terribly ashamed for leaving jiejie waiting for her, thinking she wasn't yet herself again. Will jiejie allow this one to make it up to her?”
“Oh, don't talk like that.” There was a tiny lump of guilt building in Xie Lian's own gut, because now Hua Cheng felt bad because of what she’d said. “You don't need to make anything up —”
“I'd like to.”
“Well —”
“Please, jiejie?”
Xie Lian didn't have the heart to keep objecting.