Chapter Text
Forwarding an e-mail she probably shouldn't was at the bottom of the list of things Ashley thought might save her life one day, but as Shepard explains on the Normandy, it saved her life on top of Shalmar Plaza.
"For a moment there, I was wondering if you were working with Cerberus undercover again, and that was why you were protecting Udina," she says, pacing by her wardrobe. "And then I remembered your e-mail, with the bits from the Alliance and Special Tactics, and how you said you were done with undercover work. And I knew I could trust you in this."
"I knew I could trust you," says Ashley, who had realized she was facing the wrong way even as Udina claimed Shepard was working with Cerberus.
"Thank you for that." Shepard looks down at Kaidan, lying across her couch with his head in Ashley's lap, his jade bear in his hand, and his eyes closed, starting a migraine after a futile hunt for Kai Leng following a game of tag with Cerberus forces along the mall. "I'm sorry I took so long, but I've made my decision about you two. Hell, I made it before I left for Tuchanka, but I couldn't get the two of you in the same place at the same time. Today just... solidified the need for it."
"I'm listening," Kaidan says without opening his eyes.
Shepard presses her hands together, uncharacteristically nervous. "If you'll still have me, I want a relationship with you. I love you both, and I want you by my side in everything, not just in battle."
Ashley bursts into a smile. "Oh, I'll have you. I love you guys."
"Me too," says Kaidan, looking between them with a weak smile. "But I'm not having anyone tonight. You two can have fun, though."
Crossing the room to them, Shepard kneels down so she's level with Kaidan and kisses his forehead. "Do you want me to go ask Chakwas for your hard meds?"
"I already took something after unpacking," he says. "I just need to wait for it to kick in. Go on, celebrate us all being back together and shooting a corrupt Councilor instead of each other."
It's not the first time Kaidan's had a migraine at bed time, although it is the first time this has coincided with them having something to celebrate. Falling back into an old protocol, they take care of him first, and he doesn't protest as they strip him down to his boxer-briefs (they hastily discuss fetching his pajamas from downstairs but decide this would be too obvious to the rest of the crew) and put him in bed. He doesn't notice until Ashley pulls Shepard down next to him that they've given him what should be a decent view even in the lowered light, and then he watches through half-shut eyes as Shepard kisses her with all the care she'd tossed aside on the way to Mars, her rebuilt weight split between her and the mattress.
Warmth blooms and unfurls through Ashley's body with every touch, and it isn't just Shepard's heavy skin weave, hot to the touch. Finding one of Kaidan's hands and lacing her fingers through his, she kisses Shepard back slowly, familiar rather than forceful. Besides the knowledge that one of her lovers is in excruciating pain, it feels right, more than it ever did when they were with Cerberus, because there are no secrets or lies between them, only love and the relief of having each other back and perhaps a little leftover adrenaline from the day's fighting.
Ashley lets go of Kaidan just long enough to roll Shepard onto her back, then takes his hand again as she cups Shepard's cheek with her other hand, her lips returning to hers like she'll drown if she's away from them too long. Shepard arches pleasantly beneath her, and they move against each other more through this kiss, slow at first and with a surprising lack of groping, then more urgent until Shepard pulls away to groan, "Less clothes."
"Yes," Kaidan breathes, and Ashley smiles when she looks at him to find him still watching and now half-hard in his boxer-briefs.
"You sure you don't want to join in?" she asks. Mid-migraine orgasms have sometimes helped before, but sometimes he's winced and curled up tighter before they could finish him off, and he claims to have once thrown up while masturbating.
"For now."
"Okay."
She kisses his cheek before sitting up with Shepard. Ashley pulls her gloves off, then reaches for the zipper of her officer's jacket only for Shepard to stop her with a hand on hers.
"Why do you wear the new officer uniform option?" asks Shepard. "I couldn't do it - it reminds me too much of Miranda's Cerberus uniform. Hell, I don't know why she still wears that catsuit."
Searching her face, Ashley finds nothing but open curiosity, but still has to ask, "Do you want me to stop wearing it?" She'd hate to bring back unpleasant memories with what she wears.
"Right now, I want you to stop wearing clothes," she says, and Ashley chuckles. "But no, you can wear what you like. I just want to know why."
Turning her head away from both of them, Ashley mumbles, "I didn't feel worthy of the BDUs. After months of lying to you. To some of my best friends." Garrus and Tali had been warm and familiar from the SR-1 (she still hasn't told Garrus and isn't sure if Shepard has), Jacob had always believed in her even on Lazarus Station, and she'd had a surprising connection with Miranda.
For a moment, all is still. Ashley studies the bedsheets, wonders if she shouldn't have brought up the lying, and assumes she's about to get kicked out of bed.
And then Shepard's taking her chin in hand and peppering her face with kisses as Kaidan murmurs, "You're worthy of them, Ash. You are worth everything you fight for; how many times do we have to tell you?"
Relieved, Ashley smiles, curling her hands into Shepard's hair. "Maybe just one more time?"
"You are worth it," Shepard says firmly, and takes the zipper of her jacket in hand. "But I'm going to take this off you because I want you naked."
Giggling, Ashley shrugs out of the jacket once Shepard has it open, then raises her arms for her to remove the tank top she wears underneath. Before Shepard can go for her bra, she unclasps Shepard's shirt, hastily undoing the catches to leave her in a surprisingly lacy bra that shows more than it covers, definitely not Alliance regulation.
"Shepard," she says, grinning. "What's this?"
She flushes. "I... was hoping I'd have the second and third human Spectres in my bed tonight."
"You've got us," Kaidan says helpfully.
"I was hoping the second wouldn't have a migraine," Shepard amends.
"Is that a set?" Ashley asks, hands at her belt and fly, and she tugs Shepard's slacks down to reveal panties just as lacy and useless, not to mention already damp. As Shepard turns to shove her pants off the bed, Ashley gets more of an eyeful of her ass than she'd expected.
"Spin," Ashley orders when Shepard's facing them again, and Shepard complies, looking abashed. "Very, very nice."
"Oh," Kaidan says softly, and at first Ashley thinks it's just that Shepard's dressed up (down?) for them - he'd always liked Shepard's ass, back in the day - but then when she glances at him, she realizes this is the first time he's seen Shepard undressed since her resurrection. The rebuilding scars Ashley remembers have healed considerably since the last time they slept together, but they're still very different to the map of scars from an active life that Kaidan last saw on the SR-1.
"I know," she says. "Freaked me out when I first saw them, too."
"And me," says Shepard, moving to cover some of the more prominent scars with her hands, and Ashley grabs her wrists.
"Hey. We love you no matter what skin you're in."
"This is just part of getting to know you again," says Kaidan.
"Okay," says Shepard, and then as Ashley presses her mouth just above one of the scars, "Okay."
"You'll wear those again some time, right?" Kaidan asks. "When I can better appreciate them."
"I can do that," Shepard says.
Ashley kisses three more scars and cups her hand between Shepard's legs before Shepard remembers she was trying to get her naked, and then she gets her hands on Shepard's ass instead as Shepard divests her of her pants.
Possibly compensating for the shuttle bay, Shepard pins her with the look in her eyes as she asks, "Can I go down on you?"
"Of course you can," she breathes, spreading her legs, and Shepard breaks into a smile and starts tonguing her abs, making her sigh and fall back to the bed.
"God, Ash, you have the best abs."
"Agreed," Kaidan says fervently, and as Shepard descends, she takes his hand and lays it on her abs. He doesn't do anything, just rests his hand there, but Ashley likes including him, likes having his touch.
When she's not pressed for time, Shepard can be a terrible tease, like right now, pressing her nose against her mound and then dipping below to run her tongue over her, all through her panties. Ashley groans, tangling her fingers into Shepard's hair but not making a move towards her panties, as that tends to make the teasing longer. Putting one arm across Ashley's leg to hold her down, Shepard presses languid kisses against her, and doesn't tug down her panties until Ashley's almost sobbing with need.
"I always wonder just how long a sniper can wait," Shepard says smugly, and Ashley's about to complain when Shepard starts lapping at her, and then she's moaning instead, her legs tightening over Shepard's shoulders.
Last year, sex with Shepard had been an opportunity to forget everything. For a while, she wasn't Second Lieutenant Ashley Williams, undercover as an operative in a terrorist organization, lying to and reporting on her lover and her friends. The black and gold and deception all fell away until she was just Ash, until the only things that mattered were the most incredible woman she knew and how good they could make each other feel. Now, Ashley wants to remember everything: The short and shallow strokes of Shepard's tongue for what feels like an eternity, Kaidan's hand warm on her abs, Shepard moaning and creating vibrations that are small but so good as she licks deeper into her, Kaidan's murmured praise and encouragement beside them, the glistening of Shepard's jaw and the darkness in her eyes when she surfaces to look over at Kaidan.
"She tastes so good, Kaidan," she says, her voice husky, and she dips her fingers into Ashley's fluids to bring to Kaidan's mouth. Ashley watches increasingly slackjawed as Kaidan licks her fingers and then sucks them clean, as thorough as a blowjob.
Kaidan murmurs Shepard's first name, then says, "Give her more," so low and quiet Ashley almost doesn't hear him.
"Aye aye, Major," says Shepard, saluting, and Ashley laughs shakily at the use of his rank in bed before Shepard slides her fingers into her, finding her G-spot with the ease of experience and massaging insistently, and then finds her clit with her mouth and sucks.
Trust Shepard to hear 'more' and give too damn much for her to take after a lengthy teasing session. Ashley comes hard, both their names falling from her mouth, writhing against Shepard's mouth and hand, what feels like sparks racing through her veins. Shepard works her through it, and when Ashley finally falls still, withdraws her hand (Ashley protests despite herself) and holds it for Kaidan to lick clean again. Ashley looks lower: He's still hard, his boxer-briefs soaked with precum.
"You want us to take care of that for you?"
"I," he stammers as Shepard lets her hand drift south, and then he takes a moment to consider. "Look, I'm not up for much movement, or... reciprocation."
Shepard gets up, and Ashley caresses Kaidan's chest like she's wanted to since Vancouver until Shepard returns with a large bowl, which she places on the bed to their confusion.
"In case you throw up," Shepard explains.
Ashley stares. "Why do you have a bowl in your room?"
"I got hungry one night and keep forgetting to bring it back downstairs," Shepard says with a shrug.
"Well, you can keep it here," Kaidan says, giving them a thumbs up. "I trust you. Sorry in advance if it doesn't work for me - it's not you; you're always wonderful."
"Not as wonderful as you," Shepard says, kissing his forehead as Ashley scoots down the bed.
As a general rule, Ashley doesn't like to tease someone who's already been waiting so patiently, especially when he's already contributed to her own orgasm. Without preamble, she tugs his boxer-briefs down, then takes him into her mouth. Kaidan groans, but true to his self assessment, doesn't move, allowing her to set her own pace of bobbing up and down on him. Shepard joins her to lick at his base and everywhere that doesn't disappear between Ashley's lips; she plays with his balls with one hand and strokes Ashley's hair back from her face with the other.
"I love you," breathes Kaidan, finding it within him to put a hand on both their heads; Ashley deeply appreciates that he doesn't use this to hold her down on him.
It's been three years since she's sucked his or anyone's dick. She savors him, his taste when she presses her tongue against him, his scent, how lost (to pleasure, or to his migraine?) he looks when she moans around him and glances up at him. They're lucky her skills haven't atrophied, judging by the relatively short amount of time before he follows up something incoherent with a much clearer, "I'm gonna -"
"Puke?" Shepard asks.
"Come," he says, a split second before it happens, and Ashley tries to drink down as much as she can, as fast as she can without choking; thank God her muscle memory still holds how to do this.
With her absolute focus on Kaidan's pleasure, she doesn't realize her eyes are watering and there's saliva and precum dripping down her chin until she releases his softening cock and sits up to find Shepard staring at her and then reaching out to wipe her chin.
"Oh, Ash," she says, reverent. "You're so beautiful like this."
Ashley smiles, pleased, but looks down at Kaidan, who has his eyes shut again and a smile on his face. "How's the migraine?"
"Not gone, but better," he says, his voice thick with satisfaction. "Endorphins. And the meds kicking in while I was, uh, watching. Nothing else I can do about it now except try to get some sleep."
"I could use some shut eye myself," says Shepard, reaching to the bedstand to put the bowl aside and turn off the lights. "I've called a rest day tomorrow, so we can sleep in."
As she and Shepard remove their bras for bed, Ashley suddenly realizes her mental scoreboard of orgasms is reading 1-1-0.
"Hang on - one last thing before sleep."
"Huh?" Shepard asks, and then she laughs as Ashley tackles her, her mouth on her breasts and her hands making quick work of her silly (sexy) lacy panties.
She's so wet from getting both of them off that Ashley's fingers all but glide into her and miss her G-spot on the first pass, but she gets it from the second, her thumb stroking her clit all the while. Ashley sucks hard on her nipple, making Shepard's breath shaky and hands tight on her shoulders, and then gets her free hand under her to get a handful of her ass on Kaidan's behalf. The weight on the bed shifts beside them, letting her know without looking that Kaidan's moved so he can watch, but she doesn't change a thing, just keeps plunging her fingers into Shepard's wet heat, keeps licking and sucking Shepard's nipples, keeps squeezing Shepard's ass, keeps her name and Kaidan's on Shepard's lips.
In time, she blows across one of Shepard's saliva-cooled breasts and says her first name and, "Come for us."
Shepard comes with a wordless cry, clamping down on the hand inside her; Ashley kisses her as filthy as she knows how and keeps rolling her thumb over her clit until Shepard gasps into a second orgasm. It only seems fair after she's literally had a hand in both of theirs.
"No more, I love you, but no more," Shepard protests, pulling her hand away; Ashley holds it to Kaidan and is rewarded with his tongue on her fingers. "Save some for tomorrow."
"Oh?" Ashley says, all faux innocence as she rolls to her side and snuggles up to her. "Are we celebrating some more tomorrow?"
"I'd like that," Kaidan says sleepily. "I want to play too - missed my girls."
"Missed our boy," Ashley says, reaching over Shepard to touch him.
They tangle together, legs and arms and hands intertwined so that everyone's in physical contact with everyone else; not their usual sleeping arrangement, especially after sex, but the years apart and the barely sorted emotional mess mean they're too relieved to be together not to touch. It's an embrace of tangible proof for their quiet disbelief that they're back together.
"Good night," Shepard says, her voice quiet in the dark, and Ashley smiles.
"I love you."
She knows that it's not always going to be like this, that their relationship has to be more than the sex and skirmishes it leaned towards on the SR-1. She knows Kaidan might not always fit into the routines she and Shepard created without him. She knows Shepard's trust in her is much more tentative than her trust in Kaidan. But she's more confident now that they can do this, and that's experience talking rather than the rare blind optimism she'd entered their first relationship with.
With a look at the stars in Shepard's skylight above, she knows they've finally found an equal, stable orbit.