Chapter Text
Practice - Alara
Alara Vox has never been a patient woman, and that’s no different tonight. She’d left the Crimson Cut studio right after the President’s speech was over and filming had wrapped for the evening, even opting out of the post-filming cocktail hour Selica invited her to - “Sorry darling, but some of us have other jobs to do!” - she didn’t stick around for a response. She slips into something comfortable and pours herself a glass of wine as soon as she returns to the District Five suite. The cleaners have already come through to calm the chaos the styling team left behind - there’s nothing to do but wait. She grabs the remote from the sofa to flip through the channels for a minute - Voltaea’s little stunt with the lightning is a massive hit with the press - perfect.
Voltaea returns just as she pours her second glass, along with - ugh - Orville and Coulomb, chatting away between themselves. Her girl looks like she’s buzzing - twitching at the extremities, eyes glassy and darting around the room, sweat shimmering off of her forehead - Perhaps I gave you a bit too much for your first time, but gods, that performance! Alara clears her throat, sauntering out from behind the bar counter - “There she is! My future victor returns triumphant! Voltaea darling - you’re the headline on every channel tonight!” Her eyes snap to Alara, but she doesn’t say a word in response - she just stands there practically vibrating with energy.
Alara sends Orville off to get rid of the boy, and himself - I don’t want us disturbed this evening, darling. She watches him leave, waiting until she hears the hiss of a doorway in the hall to turn back to her girl. Voltaea hasn’t taken her eyes off of her - still hasn’t spoken either - her face is as stoic as it had been when she first saw her. Alara tenses, tries to keep herself from scowling - I don’t like you using that unreadable expression with me. She closes the gap between them in the hopes of provoking a reaction of any sort - Voltaea just shifts her gaze to follow.
“Can I get you a glass, darling? I’d love to discuss what was going through your head when you pulled that stunt of yours.” Nothing. No response, no motion, no change in expression - just that repetitive twitch in her girl’s fingers and that cold, distant stare. Alara tries to keep her expression casual, quizzical, in spite of her growing discomfort - “Are you listening, my sweet?” Voltaea’s gaze lowers, like she has to watch the words form on Alara’s lips to get a grip on what she’s saying - her cheeks flush, but she still doesn’t say a word. She pushes - Gods above, will you say something! - keeping her voice as level as she can “Or have your nerves gotten the better of you again?”
Alara wracks her brain, looking for the right button to push to break that incessant, insufferable silence that’s filled the room. She can taste the tension in the air and it’s suffocating. Bile rises in her throat, her stomach has gone into full revolt - she’s not sure if it's from having too many nerves or too few answers. Answers! That’s it! “Don’t think I’ve forgotten our conversation earlier, I’m not going to let you get away with keeping secre-”
Voltaea grabs her before she can react - threading her fingers through Alara’s curls and pulling her into the messiest, clumsiest kiss she’s ever experienced. Their front teeth clack together - Alara bites down on her own tongue - the sweat pouring off Voltaea’s forehead drips down Alara’s face - and yet, she can’t help but feel absolutely triumphant in spite of the disastrous execution.
She watches her girl’s eyes go wide as the full gravity of what she’s done hits her - her hand drops to her side, releasing Alara’s hair - she pulls back. “Shit - fuck - oh gods - I’m sorry -” She watches as her girl digs her nails into her palm, tears welling up in her eyes - shaking violently. “I’m just… I’m so sorry, I’ll go -” Voltaea turns and moves to follow down the hall that the boys had left to. Alara grabs her wrist - she freezes at the contact.
Alara laces her voice with a tone of command “Turn around.” Voltaea doesn’t move. “That wasn’t a suggestion - You’re not running away from this. Turn around!” Her girl finally does as she’s told, turning back to face her. The poor thing looks wrecked - beat red, pupils blown, tears streaking down her cheeks as she tries to form her mouth around some kind of coherent speech.
“I don’t… I’m sorry, I can’t… please just let me go - I won’t bother you again - I just…” The poor thing can’t come up with anything to do but stammer uselessly at her - she bites back her irritation - Softer touch, Alara. Softer touch.
She lets her voice drop to almost a whisper - “I’ve told you at least three times already that I won’t permit you to apologize - you can’t afford to look weak. Now - come with me…” Voltaea stares at her, unsure and shaking. “Unless you want to have this conversation where the whole world can hear us, I suggest you listen.” Her girl’s eyes go wide - darting around the lounge as if to check that no one’s seen her lapse in judgement. Alara tugs at her wrist - she follows.
They walk to Alara’s suite in silence - she can feel her girl’s pulse hammering against her fingertips. She doesn’t release her grip until she’s standing in front of her four-poster bed. Alara tries to keep her own expression neutral - “Sit.” Voltaea falls backwards onto the bed - swearing softly when the heavy pack she’s wearing digs into her spine - then sits up.
Alara shifts in front of her - watching - her girl is nearly hyperventilating at this point, trying to avoid eye contact. She wraps her clawed fingertips around Voltaea’s chin, tilting her face upward - she shuts her eyes. Alara lets her voice drop to a low purr - “Voltaea, stop being childish and open your eyes.” She shudders, but finally meets her gaze.
“First of all.” She pauses, letting her mouth curl into a triumphant smirk. “I have to applaud your audacity this evening - I doubt that boy’s ego will ever recover.” Voltaea’s cheeks go scarlet. “But I am curious what prompted your… display in the lounge back there.” Voltaea tries to look away again but she digs her nails into the girl’s chin to hold her in place. “No - you’re not avoiding it this time. I’ve given you nothing but openness since we’ve met, you owe me the same.”
Voltaea pauses, breathing deeply. When she speaks, it’s so quiet Alara barely catches what she says - “I just… when you’re close like that - it’s all I can think about.” the tears start welling up in the corner of her eyes again. “I’m s… please don’t hate me.”
You’ve got her now, tread carefully. Alara keeps smirking and tilts her head questioningly “Do I look like I hate you?”
Her girl avoids the question, carrying on with her insecure rambling - “I didn’t mean to break your trust - I don’t want to mess this up, it's just… you’re so… I know it’s wrong, and I shouldn’t feel like this, I didn’t mean to feel like this -”
Alara feels her stomach drop - the sickly taste of sentiment creeps onto the back of her tongue - the girl in front of her has never reminded her so much of herself. The shame, the confusion, the feeling like you’re built wrong for the world - they’re all too familiar . It’s cruel how they treat girls who love differently, darling. You’ll have none of that from me. She releases her grip on her girl’s jaw, instead sliding her hand to cup the side of her face more gently. “You’ve done nothing to offend me, if that’s your concern.” If anything, you've made my job much easier.
Voltaea furrows her brow, she sounds more confused now than panicked, at least - “You’re not mad, then?”
“No darling, I’m not angry with you.” Alara uses her other hand to smooth her girl’s hair back - it’s started to collapse out of the updo they put her in. “But, to be honest - you need practice. That kiss was all teeth. Here, I’ll show you -”
“I… wait, wha-” Alara cuts her off, leaning forward and planting a kiss of her own - softly, this time. Voltaea stiffens - almost frozen - then wraps her arms around Alara’s shoulders and melts into the moment. She lets her own lips part slightly - Voltaea follows her lead - good girl. She adds a gentle suction to her girl’s lower lip, savoring the shiver it sends through her spine when she does. Perfect.
Alara pulls back - breaking the kiss just as she feels the heat rising in her own core - Nearly got carried away, there. Let her take the lead again. Voltaea is breathless, flushed, shaking - she lets her arms drop to her sides. “That was much better, darling.” Alara slides onto the bed next to her as she speaks - her girl can’t keep her eyes off of her now. She’s still wearing that absurd outfit - “Why don’t you go change? We can talk after, if you’d like.”
“I… ah… can I borrow something? I don’t know where any of my stuff is.” Alara nods. Voltaea stands in spite of her shaking legs - sparing a last look at her before half-stumbling to the bathroom.
Once she’s occupied, Alara rolls into a more comfortable position on the bed - propping herself up with a pile of pillows. She fumbles for the remote and flips to her recordings of the Crimson Cut, playing the episode they’d shot earlier - I do look good tonight, don’t I?
Voltaea returns after a few minutes, wearing the same robe she’d had on earlier - hair down, still half-caked in whatever makeup she hadn’t sweat off, looking panicked. Alara motions for her to come here, but she ignores her - beelining for the coffee table and swiping something off the surface. She reaches up to clasp it around her neck, breathing a sigh of relief. Ugh. That ugly fucking necklace - we’ll have to do something about that later.
She shuffles over to the bed and perches herself at the end, spinning around to sit cross-legged facing Alara. “I left the clothes on the floor, I wasn’t sure where to put them.” Her eyes shift nervously around the room.
“Nevermind that, the cleaners will take care of it in the morning.” Alara waves a hand dismissively. “Come a bit closer, darling - I’ll take that patch off of you.” She pats the bed beside her - Voltaea takes a moment to steel herself before sliding over. Alara reaches over her girl’s shoulder to pull the stimulant patch off of her back, balling it up in her fingers and tossing it behind the bed. “There - better?”
“I still feel jittery” Voltaea’s voice is shaky - unsure.
“That’ll pass. Here - make yourself comfortable.” She shifts some of the pillows behind her girl to make a seat. “I was just watching a recap of your grand entrance.” She feels her heartbeat jump into her throat when Voltaea leans back into the space next to her.
Selica is chattering away on-screen about the sorry state of the District Twelve outfits, Alara is careful to keep her attention there rather than on the rising tension between the two of them - Your move, darling.
They watch in silence until the twins pop up on the feed, Ismene drawling on about how gorgeous they look. Voltaea pipes up softly when she sees them - “They were talking to the tributes from some of the outer districts - I had Coulomb try to read their lips.”
Alara can’t hide the surprise on her face. It’s not quite how she expected her girl to break the silence - “Really? So you’ve found an actual use for the little weakling?” Voltaea flinches at the word weakling . She rolls her eyes - “Don’t go getting soft on me, you know you’re not here to make friends.”
“Yeah, I… I know. But if he has something to contribute -” She pauses, looking for the right words. “Allies are part of the game, aren’t they? It can’t hurt to have at least a few.”
Alara shrugs. “Fair enough, it could help your chances - if they’re useful.” She taps her fingernails against the silk sheets to distract from the gnawing feeling in her chest. “Do you have any others in mind, or just the boy?”
Voltaea points to the screen - Marcelus is approaching the girl from Seven with that idiotic grin on his face. “Her. She seemed impressed with me at the parade.” Alara scowls as the girl flips her hair back - Do you really think she’s useful or do you just think she’s nice to look at?
She keeps her words more neutral, no need to let the girl know she’s feeling territorial. “I suppose you can bond over your mutual disgust with the peacock boy, if nothing else. Though I can’t tell if she’ll be of any use from what I’ve seen so far.”
Voltaea opens her mouth to say something but stops when she sees herself on camera - leaning forward to get a better look. She flushes a deep red when she hears Alara refer to her as her future victor . “You talked about me?”
“Of course darling - why wouldn’t I?” her girl doesn’t answer - attention rapt as she sees Marcelus approach to whisper in her ear. “I’m curious - what did he say to get you so worked up?”
“I mean - nothing worse than what he said to Sarah.” She watches as Voltaea digs her nails into her scar in anticipation of what comes next. The screen lights up with a flash, smoke pouring off the boy’s cape. A tone of panic creeps into her voice “I don’t know what I was thinking - the career’s are going to kill me for that!”
Alara grabs her hand, pulling her fingertips from her palm before she can draw blood. “Calm yourself, my sweet. The boy is not going to be making any friends among his peers behaving like that. And besides -” She gestures to herself on screen - her other self manic with excitement. “We’ve made such an impression! The audience is going to be fascinated by you - I know I am.”
Voltaea watches as the televised version of Alara yells over her co-hosts, putting out a call to the sponsors before the feed cuts to commercial. Alara looks over and sees a small smile forming at the corner of her girl’s lips. “You were that impressed with me?”
Alara leans over, resting her head on her girl’s shoulder - “How many times do I have to tell you, Voltaea? You’re perfect.”
Voltaea sighs, relaxing into the pile of pillows behind her. They stay like this for a few minutes in silence, before she finally works up the courage to speak. “Can we talk about what happened now? With us, I mean.” There it is.
“Of course - what about it?” Alara is careful to keep her tone measured.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Voltaea shifts uncomfortably, averting her gaze.
Alara chuckles, teasingly - “That much was obvious.”
“I just… I feel… shit.” She takes a deep breath, trying to find the right thing to say. “You have this effect on me that I can’t explain.”
Alara sits up, tilting her girl’s head towards her so she has to meet her eyes again. “It’s perfectly natural to feel flustered around someone you’re attracted to, Voltaea.”
Voltaea flinches like she’s been slapped. Her speech start to flow in rapid succession “But you’re a woman - And you’re famous - And you’re so much older -”
Alara cuts her off with a single finger pressed to her lips - shhhh . “ Don’t call me old, darling.” Voltaea nods, averting her gaze again. “As for the rest, you’re not just some District nobody anymore - the rules are different in the Capitol. Most people here couldn’t care less if you have an inclination for the fairer sex -”
Voltaea burns scarlet, shaking her head in denial - “I don't -”
Alara doesn’t let her finish, her voice firm - “ Don’t lie to me - I have a sense for these sorts of things.” You’ve made it painfully obvious to anyone with eyes where your attractions lie. She thinks better of mentioning that - it wouldn’t suit her plans for the two of them if the girl stops pining so publicly.
Voltaea shrinks back into the pillows like she’s trying to disappear - covering her face with her hands. “I’ve never told anyone about this. I mean… my mother suspected - she asked about it once. I lied then, too.”
Her words hit Alara like a punch to the chest - of course Teslene would suspect you. Poor girl - you're terrible at hiding it . She’d sniffed out Alara’s own proclivities when they were still young and tormented her about it for years . She tries to hide the pain on her face - “That was probably wise - your mother can be… vicious about that sort of thing.”
Voltaea moves her hands from her face - giving her a wide-eyed look - “Wait, do you… um…”
“Prefer the company of women?” Alara can’t help but laugh when she sees her girl flush at the suggestion. “Obviously.”
“Huh.” Voltaea rolls onto her side and props herself up on the pillows to look at her again. “Can I ask you something?”
Alara raises an eyebrow at her - “I thought that was the entire purpose of this conversation.”
“I told you why I… um… did that - but why did you?” Oh, you poor girl - you’re just picking up on this now, aren’t you?
Alara shifts to her side to face her - not bothering to correct her robe as it slides off her shoulder. She cups the side of Voltaea’s face with her hand - no claws, just softness. Her voice is soft, suggestive, leading - “Why do you think?”
Voltaea doesn’t answer - she just leans into the touch of Alara’s hand on her cheek and closes her eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. “Can I stay here? I don’t want to wake up alone again.” Alara’s heart skips - fluttering into her throat - You have quite the effect on me too, you know.
She leans forward, planting a soft kiss on Voltaea’s forehead - lingering for a moment to savor the sheer warmth of the girl’s presence. “I already told you on the train, darling - I’ll never let you feel alone again.”