Chapter Text
Honesty: Voltaea
It’s when Alara drops her accent that Voltaea realizes they aren’t playing a game anymore. “You know very well that I didn’t literally mean the one you used in training.” - It’s her voice, but there’s no inkling of the posh Capitol affectation that can usually be found at the edges. I’ve never heard this before? Whatever she’d taken for the pain dulls her thoughts, but she pieced enough together to be pretty sure they’d been playing Alara’s idea of an educational game. Alara asks a question, Voltaea gives an answer. A quick buzz on her back for wrong ones, a prize for getting it right - like one of those trivia shows Ohma watches with Dad, hah. It doesn’t feel like that now - those last few buzzes were a little too deep and personal to be just for fun. Why did she change the rules?
There’s a brief moment where the static’s too loud and her jaw’s too tight and her muscles hum in pain; She has to shut her eyes just to sift through her thoughts enough to find the right words - Don’t hesitate. “I thought you wanted me to be bold, though? Wasn’t that just like… the bold version of what I already do? How is that worse than traps?”
Alara flinches - shakes it off - waits. That might have been too much? She’s tense and tapping and staring at Voltaea like she might want to smack her but then she opens her mouth and says - “Because darling, I don’t have to worry-” Oh! That’s what all this is about? The last hour snaps into full focus - She did all this because she was worried about me? Rolling onto her side, she can see it written across Alara’s every movement now - hear it in the tone behind every word - Shit, I should probably pay attention to what she’s actually saying. It’s… a little hard to follow with how fast she’s speaking and the unfamiliar music to her voice now that she’s dropped the accent that makes Voltaea’s entire body feel like it’s being thrown into a lit coal furnace - Ugh, it’s just so much better this way; “- without the first idea of how they work. Do you know what happened to them? Not one went home recognizable. Do you think that’s what I want for you?”
I only caught half of that, what do I even say? Alara looks like she’s going to bite through her tongue. Grinding her jaw, shifting her arms around from crossed, to on the bed, to smoothing her dress. When one arm flies close enough to her in another nervous gesture, Voltaea grabs it by the wrist - I guess I’ll just keep being honest then? That’s how we got here, right? - “It feels kinda good to know you’re worried about me.” It’s true; until this point Alara had only ever expressed how much certainty she had in her ability to win - This makes it feel… more earned? Her mentor is staring at her now with a pink-tinged, flustered expression - I actually caught her off guard again? Quick, say something! “I mean - We talk about how great you think I am, or all the technical stuff all the time and it’s just… I don’t know… It’s good to know you care about me not dying too.” Or ramble. That works. Idiot. Alara slams her eyes shut and the pink in her cheeks turns red, jaw clenching, still silent - Oh. Or maybe that worked too well?
In an attempt at comfort, Voltaea squeezes the hand held in her own even tighter and says - “You don’t have to be embarrassed, it was… actually really nice.” Alara tries to pull away, weakly, still avoiding her eyes - she keeps her grip tight. I don’t know how I keep fucking this up but I’m not done trying. Her thoughts feel like they’re entirely made of sludge now; half the medication’s fault, half her own for not being able to read minds. If I could read her mind this would all be a lot easier.
As if on cue, Alara decides to just speak it instead - unaccented and half-breathless, singing a tune she hadn’t expected to hear; more alluring than any song she’s heard before - “Darling, I love you too much to let you live out this lifetime thinking I’m nice.” Shitshitshitshitshit.
The next move is instinct - her free hand finds its way to cradle the side of Alara’s cheek. Voltaea doesn’t think ; It's more like chasing after her own body in slow-motion calling out to consider her words carefully as it reacts to the statement on its own in real-time - “I love you too.”
Static floods her senses - should I have said that? Alara flinches back from her like she’s been slapped, ripping her hand from Voltaea’s loosening grip - I probably shouldn’t have said that. Her chest tightens, heart thunders. The th-thump is slowed by the pain pills but it still hits the same bass note that slaps the back of her eardrums - please say something. Silence; deafening if not for the sounds she picks up from herself. Alara smooths her dress, expression unreadable - should I say something? Her gaze wanders everywhere in the room but in Voltaea’s direction - please say anything? Everything suddenly feels very exposed - I should put the robe back on at least…
As she turns to grab it from the floor she feels a clawed hand latch on to her upper thigh - “Stop.” Alara’s voice is ice - she freezes at the command. “I didn’t tell you to put that on again, did I?” Voltaea shakes her head - I should… um… “Lie back down. We should finish our lesson.”
Wait. “No.” The nails in her thigh dig deeper but she keeps talking - “You can’t just say something like that and not talk about it! It’s not like anyone has ever… I mean… my family, mostly my sister… but…” she keeps trailing off, her thoughts falling back into sludge as she tries to find the right words.
“It was a slip of the tongue, there’s nothing to talk about unless you’d like to dig into your apparent inability to separate your… infatuation with me from genuine care. Now lie down.” Liar. Every twitch of Alara’s lips, the hesitations, the shifty glances - it’s evident enough to Voltaea that she’s scrambling. It only serves to frustrate her more. She’s the one who brought it up! Why is she being like this now?
Don’t apologize. Don’t hesitate. “No - I want to talk about this.” She tries to keep her voice measured but there's a bite to it - “You can tell me you know better all you want but I heard what you said and you heard what I said! You can’t just undo that because you like to pretend you don't have f-”
Alara interrupts her - cutting, clean and cold - “You can either lie down and cooperate or you can sleep in your own room tonight.”
“I…” Voltaea tries to protest but her words fail her as her stomach threatens to lurch out of her body at the thought of being alone. I can’t… fuck! She throws herself backwards onto the bed without another word.
“Good girl.” The phrase doesn’t carry the same comfort it usually does but it still sparks an unbearable heat between her legs that makes her thighs clench - damnit! Control! Her movements don’t escape notice - she burns red as Alara lets out a low chuckle and releases her grip to trace a claw down the length of Voltaea’s leg. “See what I mean, darling? Infatuated . It can be very easy to confuse the two-” The claw traces back upward, dragging a pleasant tingling in its wake before pinching just slightly too hard on her upper thigh again. “-especially when I was being so careless with my own words.” She’s trying to distract me. Think!
Voltaea is finding it very difficult to think between the static and the feedback from Alara’s hands shifting again - “I don’t think you were being careless, I think you were being hone-AH fuck-” She chokes on the word as her mentor’s fingertips graze over the top of her undershorts, sending a shockwave up her spine that forces her eyes shut. Asshole!
“You were saying?” She opens them again just to glare up at Alara who now wears a hint of a smirk at the corner of her lips.
Voltaea’s mouth moves without her mind again - “I was saying that you were bei-mmm-” Instant regret; Alara moves quickly and slides back across her most sensitive point causing her to bite her lip to stop herself from making some ridiculous noise - “Stop doing that while I’m trying to talk!” Her arms feel foreign and heavy when she tries to push Alara’s away and there’s a taste of copper creeping across her tongue from where she’d bit harder than she thought.
Alara removes her hand and examines it, smirk sharpening as she rubs the tip of her index finger to her thumb. Turning to Voltaea with her eyebrow raised, she purrs - “Are you sure, my sweet? Because it certainly doesn’t feel like you want me to stop.” Before Voltaea can respond, the older woman leans down and gently runs the fingertips she was just looking so intently at over her cheek - she recoils almost instantly from the damp touch - oh. I… shit. I didn’t ask for it to do that! The persistent scarlet in her cheeks spreads to her chest and she battles the urge to bury her face under a pillow as Alara speaks again - “In fact, by the feeling of it, you’ve been wanting this for a while now -” Her touch returns to Voltaea’s lower half, tracing her nails down her abdomen - it does nothing to alleviate the growing tension in her core.
The ambient sound of the television seems to fade further away with every touch. Alara swings one leg over her own, lifting her dress just enough to make the maneuver. She tilts her head to the side, watching for a beat - then without warning, presses her lower thigh into Voltaea’s center. One of those sounds escapes her this time before she can bite it back. “Mhm” It feels incredible - it feels like there was something important she was supposed to be doing. Even as her hips start to lift upward in search of more of that feeling, she gathers herself together enough to object - “Wait, please, can we just talk first? I don’t want…” Alara puts a single clawed finger to her lips and all her objections melt into the bed beneath her.
There’s no trace of the ice in her mentor’s tone anymore, it’s back fake-accented fire - But I do know she’s really faking it now. - “Don’t lie to me about what you want, darling - you’ve practically soaked through to the sheets.” Embarrassed rapidly devolves to mortified as Voltaea looks down and sees a slight shimmer on Alara’s thigh where she’d pressed into it. Oh no that’s-
“Shit - I’m sorry!” No apologies! Damnit, breathe - There’s no catching back up to stop her mouth at this point, her thoughts keep drowning in a sea of sensory input. Voltaea covers her face with her hands - too much - it still doesn’t stop the throbbing between her legs or keep her mouth from moving - “I know I shouldn’t say that, I mean, I did listen to the rules and -”
“Relax.” It’s a gentler-sounding interruption this time, Alara’s voice coils around her like a velvet snake and she feels the older woman’s hands pull hers down and pin them softly to the bed at her sides. Breathe. “Just let the tension go, darling.” She takes a deep breath and holds it briefly before exhaling. Calm. Her eyes flutter open, taking in the entirety of the woman in the shimmering dress and cascading curls currently perched above her and feels every nerve in her body buzz in response. Collected? “There, see? I can already feel it melting off your wrists.” Her mentor releases her grip on Voltaea’s arms and slowly sits upright, chuckling lightly at every squirm and noise her shifting thigh elicits on the way. “You did say you’d always come for me, didn’t you?” Her hips twitch on their own again and something ignites - I give up.
Wrapping both arms around Alara’s midsection, she tries to pull her closer - her mentor just laughs. Everything is still sluggish, like she’s not as strong as she should be. Her brow furrows, tensing - “Oh don’t pout. I have excellent core strength, you wouldn’t stand a chance on your best day.” The older woman leans into her grasp anyway, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. As she shifts, her leg pulls away just enough to remove the intoxicating, burning sensation it brought with it - I can’t stand this please just do something just fix this just make it stop fuck -
Nothing productive, or questioning, or even snarky escapes her this time - all she manages is a whiny-sounding “ Alara - please ?”
“Please what?” Alara traces her claw down the side of Voltaea’s neck and sets her hair standing on end.
There is no part of her that wants to speak of the visuals running through her head right now out loud - “Don’t make me say it you know what I mean -”
Alara sighs but she doesn’t bother to drop the smirk - She knows she has the upper hand… “I mean, I suppose if you’re too uncomfortable to continue…” Not that!
Voltaea groans, slamming her eyes shut like it’ll somehow make saying it aloud feel less shameful - “Please just stop being like this and touch me -”
“I’m quite literally on top of you, darling, you’ll have to be more specific.” Gods! This is impossible! I can’t- Frustrated, Voltaea grabs her wrist and tries to pull it exactly where she needs it but Alara doesn’t budge. “Don’t be rude, use your words.”
Her body screams at her for relief; She barely recognizes herself when she speaks again, digging her nails into her mentor’s wrist with the same desperation that drips off of her every word - “PLEASE just put something between my fucking legs before I die here waiting!”
Alara lets out a full-throated laugh before leaning close to Voltaea’s ear and whispering - “I suppose I can oblige that.”
While she’s still busy reeling from the husky voice and intoxicating smoke-and-cherry scent of the woman just inches from her face, a hand wriggles its way between the two of them and slips under the band of her shorts. “Ah!” She claps a hand over her mouth and Alara makes a sharp tsk of disapproval.
“I thought I told you last time to let me hear you, hmm?” Claws close around her and tug her last shield away - The fingertips wandering beneath her waistband find their target and trace a circle that yanks a whiny gasp from her throat. Her mind screams quiet but her body presses forward like it’s looking for another excuse to make noise.
When the next deft swirl of Alara’s fingers hits, she stops caring about quiet and just lets the noise happen. Suddenly, she lifts her hand upward, hovering a few inches above Voltaea’s center and pulling back when she tries to rise to meet it in frustration. “I forgot - there’s just one more thing I need you to tell me before I can fix this ache of yours.”
This is worse than torture - “What is it?!” Voltaea whines, still desperately writhing towards the woman above her.
“Promise me you’ve learned your lesson about meddling with dangerous explosives.” If she wasn’t so flustered, she might laugh. This is still just about being worried?!
Desperate for any kind of relief, she quickly answers - “I promise.” For now. But if I see a good opportunity I’d be stupid not to utilize them. Alara seems satisfied with the lie because not five seconds later the heat of her touch ignites Voltaea’s core once again.
She moans softly as two of Alara’s fingers slip inside her with little resistance. A part of her wants to hide when a breathless whisper against her neck reminds her of how wet she is; instead she clenches and tries to pull the touch deeper into herself. “Needy little thing, aren’t you?” Alara mutters softly and giggles to herself as she runs her lips over every sensitive spot she can find.
Her body starts to melt under the contact; a now-familiar wave builds within her, stronger with every stroke of a finger or tense of a muscle. “Gods, I can feel how close you are, darling.” The pressure is nearly blinding - the dam threatens to break - her ears ring louder with each passing second - please?
Just as it feels like she might crack, Alara slows her movements and pulls her back from the edge - “Wait, wh-”
Alara presses her lips to her ear again and coos - “What’s wrong? Did you want to finish?” Voltaea nods, still desperate trying to buck against the fingers inside of her to no avail. “Then you’ll have to ask me to let you.”
The tide of embarrassment at having to ask isn’t enough to drown out her need “Please - gods - let me finish, please?” She hadn’t meant it to sound so much like begging but that only seems to make Alara more excited because she redoubles her efforts and the dam fills to its breaking point in seconds. Pressure building, heat rising - when Alara curls her fingers inside of her she explodes into something halfway between a moan and a prayer before collapsing backward onto the bed in an exquisite shower of sparks with a rush of pressure leaving her body.
Much more comfortable than the shower . Her eyes flutter shut and she breathes through her heart thumping loudly against her eardrums until it subsides to a tolerable volume. Alara shifts to move back onto the bed but in the process brushes up against her with a familiar damp feeling that shocks her eyes right back open - “You’re wet.”
Alara rolls her eyes and flops beside her - “I don’t see how that’s relevant, my sweet.” Didn’t you try to say your whole reason for doing this because I had that problem?
“I could -” Voltaea stops herself; she’s not actually sure what she could do with her complete inexperience. “You could show me how to help you? We have more time tonight…”
“Not tonight, darling.” Alara says, flatly.
Not a real answer. “But why?”
“I said not tonight.” She bites back.
Still unsatisfied, Voltaea pushes - “You also said that last night, I don’t get it. I thought you liked this kind of stuff?”
“I’ve asked Orville to leave us a dinner cart, perhaps you could occupy your mind with retrieving that instead of attempting to psychoanalyze me while you lie around in your underwear.” Pure ice. Alara’s tone is cutting cold again as she leans over to grab a cigarette from the nightstand.
Voltaea stares at her for a long while, opening her mouth several times to protest before thinking better of it. Alara flips through the channels as she smokes and ignores her gaze. The standoff quickly grows tedious and she rises off the bed to check for the dinner cart, quietly swearing under her breath at her mentor as she does. I’m going to find out why whether she wants to tell me or not.
The door slides open to reveal a covered cart sitting outside with two bottles of wine sitting in an ice bucket on a lower shelf near the spare silverware and glasses. She wheels the cart inside and parks it beside the coffee table, removing the lid to see if anything revives her appetite. The first thing that really catches her eye is a tray of fruits covered in intricately decorated chocolate coatings. She pops a plump red berry in her mouth whole, and while the green bit leaves something to be desired the rest is one of the most incredible things she’s ever tasted. It’s so distractingly tasty that she doesn’t notice Alara has gotten up and made her way over until she speaks - “You know, I had ordered these special for tonight. The wine too.”
“For us?” Alara nods and Voltaea’s stomach flips over.
“I’m terrible at following a plan.” she mutters to herself before taking one of the red berries and biting off everything but the green portion. Ah. She keeps talking with her mouth full - “I had this grand idea that I could convince you to retain all the lessons I needed you to with some sort of gesture like this, and then I went right ahead and let myself get completely distracted with idle chatter about your… admittedly endearing, if confused, feelings.”
Voltaea locks eyes with her - “I’m not going to take back what I said. I meant it.” They stay frozen like that for a beat - don’t hesitate - “And so did you.”
This time, there’s no denial - just another long, silent, calculating stare before Alara sighs heavily and breaks eye contact to grab herself a plate. “Get yourself something to eat, darling. I want to know what you have up your sleeve for your private session.”
She didn’t deny it. I’ll take it for now.