Chapter Text
Birdseye: Alara
It’s too warm in the Mentor’s lounge, and Selica is sitting far too close . It would be easier to ignore the growing physical discomfort if Alara wasn’t already so tightly wound from the morning’s events - made worse by the drugs and the non-stop talking that crackles through the earpiece Selica had given her a few minutes ago. How does she tolerate listening to this girl? She glances over at her co-host, who seems completely at ease being crammed into the corner of the chair listening to the world’s most disagreeable tribute talk over everything her ally tries to say. Alara shifts her attention back to the screens, trying not to let the concern read on her face when she sees Voltaea twitching visibly as she nods along with whatever the boy is chattering to her about. Her eyes dart around the room, locking for a moment on Cymbria before her attention snaps back to the boy. She says… something to him, Alara can’t make it out on her lips and the mic isn’t close enough to catch anything other than Cymbria’s snark to her partner and the occasional chatter of a small group of the others attempting to make a fire nearby.
Suddenly, Voltaea stands up and Alara leans forward, trying to read her lips - she talks too fast, she’s too wound up. A pang of guilt bites her chest - none of that! It’s not my fault she decided to go so far off-script. She’d intended to keep her girl on a strict regimen with the drugs - enough to keep her sharp, with just a touch of volatility for a good show - Voltaea had tossed that regimen out the window . She’s been shaking, tapping, and looking around paranoid since Alara started watching her - her pupils noticeably blown out - it won’t suit our narrative if they know you’re hopped up, darling. You have to keep it together a bit better than this . Alara hopes the come-down will be enough of a deterrent to keep her in line - she’d held back on giving her anything to stifle the pain in the hopes that it would be a more effective lesson. She flags down a waiter for a cup of coffee - no drinking for me today, or perhaps ever again - and tells herself a comforting lie as she chases a pill down with the first sip.
She watches her girl approach the climbing wall, the boy a few steps behind her trying to keep up with her longer stride - right past the instructor, straight onto the structure without even a thought spared for safety gear. Alara feels her heart drop into her stomach and she lurches forward in the chair to hide the concern on her face from Selica - Idiot! Are you trying to get yourself killed? She catches herself flinching every time her girl shifts to a new hold - visions swirling through her head that feature every scenario in which she could fall off the structure and break herself into pieces. I wanted you to take calculated risks, not act like a reckless moron! She doesn’t notice how hard she’s digging her claws into her thigh until Selica’s hand wraps gently around her wrist. “You’re a mess today, knock it off.” Alara releases her grip, Selica doesn’t - she just stares at her, Alara flinches as Cymbria cackles into the mic and sends a burst of static through her earpiece.
“I’m not a mess.” Alara scans the room in an effort to find someone in a worse state than she is and with Ismene off elsewhere today, the only one she can point to is Haymitch Abertanthy - passed out on a couch in the corner with an open bottle of whiskey balanced on the arm above him. She gestures to him - “See, that’s a mess. I’m upright.” Selica rolls her eyes and pulls out her second cigarette in less than half an hour to light.
“Emotional, then. Or whatever you want to call this state you’re in - What are you so worked up about, anyways?” Selica looks over at the screen with the training feeds - Alara flinches again when she sees Voltaea hoist herself onto the top of the structure, balancing precariously on the edge.
“She’s being reckless today.” Alara mutters, shifting in her seat again. “She didn’t even bother with the harness.”
“Oh gods above, I knew this was going to be a problem! Alara, look at me -” She turns to face Selica completely, if only to take her eyes off Voltaea’s precarious position for a moment. “As your friend, I have to ask you. Honestly. You’re sending her to fight to the death in three days - How are you going to cope if someone comes at her with a knife?” Selica’s tone is earnest but the question makes Alara feel like she’s the one being stabbed. “You’re already fretting about something as small as lack of safety equipment - what are you going to do when she’s actually in danger, hm?”
She hasn’t thought about it. Not once, until today. She’s been so preoccupied with the idea of winning that she hasn’t had a moment to spare for how she’s going to deal with waiting for that to happen - or how gut-wrenchingly terrible it would feel to actually care for her girl’s safety in the process. “I don’t know.” She says honestly. “I suppose I haven’t thought about it.”
“You clearly haven’t been thinking about anything, as of late.” Selica mutters under her breath just loud enough to sting before taking a pointed drag of her cigarette and blowing it out in a clean ring at the television - she’s gotten better at that. “Then we have to figure something out, I can’t have you clawing yourself up like this on air. A little derangement is the core of our brand, but the self-injury just makes people uncomfortable. Too depressing.” She’s right. I hate when she’s right.
“What do you suggest I do, then?”
“In hindsight I’d suggest you maintain professional distance and hang your entire sense of self worth off the back of a volatile teenager you barely know.” Selica hisses frustratedly, Alara rolls her eyes - very helpful, thank you - “But in lieu of that… Gods, Alara, I don’t know.” She lights herself another cigarette off the embers of the one in her hand before flicking the remains into her empty glass. “Perhaps work something relaxing into your routine. I can slip you something for the anxiety before you have to be on camera, at least.” I’ll probably need it.
She opens her mouth to say something when Cymbria’s voice echoes against her eardrum again - this time saying something that catches her interest - “Look, we’ll just climb up and talk to her there. Her friends aren’t here yet, it’s the perfect time.”
“Cym, I told you. I don’t like heights. Can’t we just wait ‘till she comes down?” The sidekick is a bit of a coward, isn’t she? Cymbria doesn’t entertain her with a verbal response. Alara’s eyes scan across the various feeds until she sees the two girls walking up to the climbing wall, both stopping to do the sensible thing and wear harnesses. Voltaea sits at the top, watching the two of them intently - Alara can see her mouth moving, but she must be whispering because the mics don’t pick it up.
Selica mutters something under her breath but the only part Alara catches is ‘distractable’ - she ignores her. Cymbria’s a far more competent climber than her partner, but she’s still a lot slower than Voltaea or the boy had been. That’s one point to you today, at least. She reaches the top - breathing heavily enough for the mic to pick up - and immediately ushers the boy away. Voltaea backs her up, sending Coulomb down the wall - though she slides in a snide remark about Cymbria’s sidekick that makes her snap a bit. Don’t push too hard. Just remember what we talked about darling, don’t alienate her - find a way to use her. Alara drums her nails against the arm of the chair, trying to chase the last errant thoughts of Voltaea falling off the wall out of her mind with something more strategic.
Cymbria shifts herself to Voltaea’s side - Alara leans forward to extract herself from Selica’s still-sharp grip on her wrist and get a closer look. They verbally spar for a while - Cymbria even goes so far as to propose a formal alliance - that part surprises her. Her girl had mentioned friction with the careers, but she hadn’t expected outright betrayals before the Games started - she steals a glance at Selica, who seems unfazed by the news. What are you cooking up with her, I wonder?
Voltaea turns it around, proposes a less formal, temporary truce. Good girl, keep her friendly but at arms length. “Alara!” Selica snaps her fingers in front of her face - she whirls to the side to look at her, eyes narrowed at her in that way that always makes her feel like she’s being punished for something - “You ignored my question.”
“What was it, darling? I wasn’t listening.”
Selica gestures to the screen where Voltaea and Cymbria have started climbing down - well, Voltaea has. The other girl lowers herself on the line beside her to keep pace. “I asked why you thought it would be a good idea to give her drugs before sending her into a public venue.”
“Oh.” That. Alara scowls. If she looked slightly messy earlier, Voltaea is a full-blown disaster now - Sweating through her training uniform, ghostly pale, with pupils so wide that her eyes look practically black from this angle. If you had just let me do things my way, she’d never have noticed.
“Yes - Oh . You should know better!” Selica blows a ring of smoke directly into her face this time - Alara coughs. “Look, historically, we both know I haven’t above slipping the promising ones a few performance enhancers -” Have you? And you held out on telling me until just now? Cheater. “- but I mean gods Alara, she’s practically crawling out of her skin out there. You’re clearly overdoing it.”
“She’s the one who overdid it.” Alara snaps back, ripping out the earbud to stop Cymbria’s voice cutting off her train of thought. “She went straight into my stash this morning and decided she knew better than I did about what she should be taking. I’m not at fault, at least on this one.”
“Who showed her the drugs in the first place, Alara? Did she just conjure the idea out of thin air?” Selica’s voice drips with sarcasm.
“I suppose I did, but-”
“Don’t but me when I’m right. You need to put a leash on this before it gets worse. If she actually manages to win somehow, you don’t want allegations of cheating floating around. You know our dear leader would find that embarrassing enough to merit a punishment - it undermines the legitimacy of the Games. You’re already taking a huge risk with your… indiscreet behavior, don’t make it worse.” Alara hadn’t considered that angle - but she doesn’t have to think hard to imagine what kind of fallout she’d face from Snow in the event they were caught smuggling things into the arena. Definitely a firing, possibly a covert poisoning - absolutely nothing good. She realizes that this would also undermine her own narrative about their relationship. If Voltaea doesn’t look like the mastermind - if they think she’s too strung out to make the choice… well… that would tip the scale of scandalous and fun in the wrong direction, wouldn’t it?
“I’ll have to tighten my grip, then.” She looks over at the screen again. Voltaea, physically, looks almost ill walking over to the trapping station with her allies. It’s been fun letting you have a win today, but I can't have you spinning out, darling, it’ll be bad for both of us.
“I hope it’s enough.” Selica shifts herself in the chair so she’s half-lying on her side, facing Alara fully. “While we’re on the topic of reckless behavior - Is there any way I can convince you to keep this tryst of yours quiet? It may never come out organically, it’s not like you have to force it.”
Alara’s mind wanders back to her last few rides on the elevator with her girl - “If I don’t get us caught, she will.” she says bluntly, “We haven’t exactly... been subtle about our affections..”
Selica sighs, shaking her head with the most disappointed look Alara’s ever seen across her face - it takes her a moment to get her bearings enough to speak again. “I mean... you can at least acknowledge it’s a risk, can’t you? There’s no guarantee Snow lets this slide, it’s an ethical nightmare. There must be some part of you that knows that, right?”
A flicker of doubt crosses her mind but she fights it off - I can’t afford that kind of thinking. Not if I want to keep her around. “He’s not going to care about the ethics as long as it sells. He might even thank me for the distraction - people get antsy this time of year. Why not give them something to talk about besides all the death?”
“You really are committed to this, then?”
Alara nods without letting herself squeeze in a second thought - “Completely.”
“Fine. Then we’ll need to come up with a spin for the Cut. I’m not going to let good gossip go to waste.” Alara grins at her, Selica frowns - “Don’t look at me like that. It's not even close to an endorsement of your behavior. In fact, right now my thought is to lean into the debate this is bound to stir rather than avoid it. I’ll play the voice of concern, Ismene can be the supportive one - you’ll need to play nice with her for that to work -”
Alara quickly drifts away from Selica’s words as she drags into a long-winded monologue about her plans - we never follow the plans, I don’t know why she bothers. She turns back to watch her girl, nodding along with the chatter beside her. Voltaea is talking to the trainer now - he’s smiling at her a little too brightly, holding something behind his back that the camera doesn’t have a good angle on. When he pulls it out Alara chokes on the last of her coffee, spitting it back into the cup as she sputters out- “Is that a fucking mine?” Oh gods, this is going to put terrible ideas in her head. It certainly puts terrible ideas in Alara’s head - her mind starts swirling with all the possible ways trying to fiddle with explosives could get her girl killed. She’s going to blow herself up and it’s going to be my fault and I’m going to lose again and why the fuck did anyone think it would be a good idea to give her a MINE.
“Oh relax, I doubt it’s live. Anyway, as I was saying -” Alara’s chest tightens painfully as she sees Voltaea’s face lights up. It’s the same look she gets when she lies in Alara’s lap talking about her favorite ideas - She’s going to fixate on this. It’s dangerous, and stupid, and suicidal and she’s going to fixate on it because it’s a fucking puzzle to solve and I hate this so much.
Her stomach flips over as she watches her girl take the mine over to a nearby table and start disassembling it, hands shaking so much that she drops the screwdriver before she even manages to pop the cover off. She’s going to try and do that in the arena and it’s going to fail and she’s going to die and I’ll be alone and oh for fucks sake why can’t you just do something safer? Selica might still be talking, Alara doesn’t notice one way or the other when she speaks again - “If she blows herself up I’m going to lose it.”
Selica sighs, heavily, resting a hand on Alara’s back - “You’re already losing it, take a breath.”
“Don’t tell me to breathe.” She takes a deep breath anyways - it does nothing to calm her.
“Don’t have a panic attack while you’re sitting next to me, then.” Selica rolls over to grab her purse from the nearby side-table, rummaging through until she finds a small pill bottle and tosses it to Alara. “Here, take one of these. For your nerves.”
Alara takes the pill, grabbing Selica’s long-abandoned glass of wine from the table and chasing it down with a sip. She’s struck with another thought of Voltaea exploding in an attempt to engineer some mad trap with a mine involved. She looks down at herself - she’s shaking almost as badly as her girl is now - with skin half-drenched in sweat, glistening off the overhead lights. I need to get it together, she’s right about that much.
They sit in silence for nearly twenty minutes, until Alara feels her chest unclench and her breathing return to something almost normal. Whatever she gave me, it works well enough. Voltaea has been poking around inside the mine the whole time - The more Alara watches her, the less it seems like she’s actually doing much with it. At one point, she stares blankly at what looks like a battery for a full five minutes before reaching out to touch it - then jerking her hand back like she’s hurt herself. Her expression doesn’t shift, like she’s only half-aware of what’s going on. Alara’s thoughts start to slip back into dangerously negative territory but she stops herself - She’s fine, she’s just having a rough come-down. This is how we’re teaching her to listen, remember?
It’s the boy who breaks Voltaea out of her stupor, calling something out from behind her that makes her jump. He says something else and she frowns at him, looking around the room and then down at her hands. She drops the screwdriver again and yells something that makes the boy flinch back from her - Don’t come completely unglued, darling, I need you to at least act somewhat normal until we can get you straightened out later.
He practically has to drag her to the others - she winces, almost pained when the other girl opens her mouth. Definitely crashing, I hope you remember this headache the next time you decide you know better than me. Voltaea barely says a word to any of them as they make their way to the cafeteria - she even tries to close her eyes at one point while they walk, though clearly thinks better of it when she bumps into Coulomb almost immediately after and they fly open again. “Alara dear, have you eaten? Or are you just running on ego and amphetamines today?”
She hadn’t thought about food at all, today - “Just the amphetamines, darling. My ego is fairly deflated at the moment.”
“I’ll order us something then. Do you have any ideas?” Alara shakes her head. “Alright, but you can’t complain if I grab you something you don’t want like you did last time.”
“I won’t.” I might. Selica pulls herself up out of the chair and wanders to a phone on the back wall, calling in their order to the tower’s main kitchen. Alara settles back into the chair, spreading out to watch her girl more comfortably now that she has finally has space to move.
Voltaea’s not much more animated during lunch itself - picking over most of the buffet options before settling on what looks like the blandest selection of bread and vegetables she could have possibly chosen. She practically slumps into the chair when she returns to her allies at their table, leaning her head back and closing her eyes - completely ignoring the tray of food in front of her. The boy tugs at her sleeve again until she relents and sits upright, grabbing her fork and poking around at the food while she scowls at it like it’s offended her somehow. Perhaps if you chose something actually appetizing instead of… whatever that is…
After agonizing over it for a few minutes while her allies chatter around her, she finally takes a bite of her food and Alara breathes a sigh of relief. It’s short lived, because seconds later Voltaea stands up and bolts across the room, losing the entire contents of her stomach into the trashcan at the end of the buffet table. Shit.